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21 Things You Can Do If You Want Because YOU'RE AN ADULT, DAMMIT

You choose what "grown-up things" are!
Andy McDonald
By 

Writer, HuffPost

You choose what "grown-up things" are!

Adulting is hard. When you're a kid, you can't wait to grow up and have money and freedom, and then you become a grown-up and realize you have none of those things. But as an adult, you do have one huge advantage: Decision-making power.

YOU'RE AN ADULT AND YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT ADULT STUFF IS!

As as fully grown human, you make your own decisions.
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If you want to ride in the shopping cart while at the grocery store, you can do that.
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You get to decide what a "well-balanced breakfast" looks like.
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You're an adult and you say, "ALL the marshmallows in my cocoa."
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You're my Lunchable now, party tray.
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Cereal isn't just for dinner, it's also for dessert.
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You're an adult, dammit, and you eat what you want.
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You can even make your food do adult stuff if you want.
Your parents aren't buying your clothes anymore, which means you get to wear what you want.
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ANYTHING you want. Because you're a grown up with credit cards and taxes and a big human job.
Because worrying if you look stupid is stupid.
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Besides, you don't have time to worry about looking stupid, because you're a busy adult.
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You're too busy riding a majestic freaking unicorn.
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You survived high school and peer pressure and now you get to look how you want.
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Decorate your home however the hell you want.
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Fill that home with handheld video games and handheld alcohol.
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"I want my Fruity Pebbles in this wine glass, and I plan to drink out of it immediately following these Fruity Pebbles."
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Sleep in a tiny tent if you want.
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Or a pillow fort. In the MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
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With Netflix!
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Because you're an ADULT, DAMMIT. Who can build an adult treehouse with lights and beer and a band.
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Before You Go

1
"I'm standing right behind you."
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2
"I drank too much coffee today."
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3
"Let's get lunch at Burger King."
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4
"You have a piece of lint on you."
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5
"It's time to pick up your weirdo twins from dance class."
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6
"Your hair stylist left the scissors in."
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7
"Hey, I just got your text message from the 1990s."
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8
"Sorry about my Cheeto dust fingers."
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9
"I'm deathly afraid of triangles."
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10
"Wait, I just need to put my head on."
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11
"The eggs you bought are expired."
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12
"I would kiss you if you didn't have a human heart on your head."
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13
"I keep all my pens under lock and key."
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14
"Just taught the baby how to pour some out for his homies."
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15
"I'm afraid the ninja stars are too close to your heart to operate."
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16
"BRB, Have to get another hole drilled in my bowling ball."
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17
"Your piano was destroyed, but I salvaged a piece of it."
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18
"The leaves are regrowing their eyelashes."
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19
"We're all out of sporks."
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20
"You've been added to my rolodex of 'Creepy People.'"
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21
"Do you know where the keys to these handcuffs are?"
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22
"I bought a beatboxing monkey, just FYI."
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23
"The more you know..."
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