Things From Your 4th Of July Party That You'll Rethink On The 5th Of July

Things From Your 4th Of July Party That You'll Rethink On The 5th Of July

It's the day after that you might remember the most.

We all look forward to having a great time on the 4th of July. But what we don't look forward to is the day after, when perhaps we're feeling an enormous amount of regret for things that transpired on our nation's birthday.

Here are some things we will definitely rethink for next year's 4th of July.

Really read the names of the fireworks before purchasing. There are kids around.
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If you're going to have something for the kids at your party, it's important that it's kid appropriate.
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Store signs aren't always reliable for figuring out what to bring to a picnic.
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Love America a little more with your heart, and a little less with fire and explosions.
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Nice grill, but next year, let's tone down 'Merica by about 40 percent.
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And, sh-t, maybe save some meat for the rest of America.
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People aren't going to show up to your party if they think it's the 4th of Jufy. Maybe they're super busy in the month of Jufy.
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Probably a good idea to implement a strict "No Caped Gentlemen On The Back Of Go-Karts" policy.
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Next year, just tell Brad there isn't a party.
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Your cat will probably figure out there's a party and come anyway though.
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If you're gonna play beer pong with giant cups, it's best not to fill those with beer and chug them every time you score. The party ends pretty quickly that way.
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Finally, don't f--k with grandma on the beer pong table. Grandma will dominate you on the beer pong table.
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Joey Chestnut, Tim Janus, Matt Stonie

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