The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Is there a polite way to exit a group text or do I have to die
— Molly (@Molly_Kats) August 4, 2015
Earth is the worst planet name, hands down.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) August 4, 2015
Lord in Heaven save me from the me I will become when the Nicki Minaj version of the Kim K game becomes part of my life
— Katie Heaney (@KTHeaney) August 4, 2015
WOW THAT'S A LOT OF MEN I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING THEIR OPINIONS ON HOW I SHOULD USE MY UTERUS pic.twitter.com/627bAmJB4R
— Justina Ireland (@tehawesomersace) August 6, 2015
Lenny Kravitz's penis slipped out on stage? So what? Wait for the GOP Debate on tonight - there will be 10 dicks on stage!
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) August 6, 2015
...and here I used time lapse photography to show everyone how pms led me to eat everything in the fridge
— MF FairyPrincessSmoo (@Smooheed) August 5, 2015
PROSPECTIVE MILLENNIAL BABY NAMES:
1) wut
2) tinyselfie
3) 👾🍒🗿🍬🌵🍕
4) newnumberwhodis
5) #GameofThronesFinale
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) August 3, 2015
Is mombod a thing yet? Because if that starts trending I could finally fit in.
— C. Love (@LoveNLunchmeat) August 5, 2015
It's cool, I'm pretty sure I burn enough calories just repeating the words "I need to exercise."
— Say it ain't so (@Shut_up_Marissa) August 6, 2015
I have nothing in common with people who learn their lesson.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) August 4, 2015
When a man on the street asks me why I'm not smiling I tell him all about rectal prolapse.
— Lauren Bans (@LaurenBans) August 6, 2015
*gets facebook friend request from total stranger*
*sees it's not a heterosexual male*
*says "eh fuck it" and accepts*
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) August 3, 2015
Please always include the wifi password in your invite
— Sophia Rivka Rossi (@sofifii) August 2, 2015
If Marvel didn't want me to sometimes call him Magento, they shouldn't have made him a combination of red and purple.
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) August 5, 2015
*Taps Donald Trump's hair
“Is this thing on?”
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) August 5, 2015
Anytime a man tweets abuse at you, it can't hurt to reply "thank you that will be 50 dollars."
— Gaby Dunn (@gabydunn) August 6, 2015
Trump truly has the original Resting Bitch Face
— Emily Peck (@EmilyRPeck) August 7, 2015
Candidates for my 2016 Catty White Men calendar.
— Annie Wu (@AnnieW) August 7, 2015
My life is just a series of tabs in a window that i am going to "read later"
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) August 3, 2015
Arthur is one of the few things that makes me feel less embarrassed about being a millennial
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) August 5, 2015
Also on HuffPost:
Funny Women - Past And Present
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
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