Parents get a lot of bad PR from teenagers. The most common complaint is about how “embarrassing” we are. We wear the wrong things. We say the wrong things. And we do the wrong things. We are an embarrassing species.
Of course, the irony is that 10 or so years ago, our teenagers were plenty embarrassing to us. Yup. When they’re young, children can be incredibly embarrassing. But most parents are just too nice to go around talking about it. Well, I’m not! Little kids do and say embarrassing things -- and it’s time they were called out on it. Speak up, parents! Do you recognize any of the following?
1. Your 3-year-old blew out the birthday candles. Unfortunately, it wasn't his party.
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2. Your toddler learned to open the door lock by herself. She did it while you were in the middle of going to the bathroom at Starbucks.
3. Your friend knows your son learned to write his name. She knows because he wrote it on her sofa.
4. You took your potty-trained son to see Santa. Well, you thought he was potty-trained.
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5. You ran into an acquaintance, and your son loudly asked you to tell him the “lady’s name.” You couldn’t.
6. Your 6-year-old drew a self-portrait in Sunday school. The drawing was anatomically correct.
7. Your daughter found out the truth about the Tooth Fairy. And the next day, so did everyone else in her kindergarten class.
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8. You had to make two trips to the grocery store. One to buy groceries and one to return the candy that your son stole.
9. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Not true. According to your son’s preschool teacher, he did pick his friend’s nose.
10. The little girl who lives next door got her first haircut. It was courtesy of your 4-year-old.
Image: Jonas Mosesson/Jonas Mosesson Design
11. Your son wants to make sure people know that he has a penis allergy. It’s pronounced “peanuts.”
12. You took your daughter to storytime at the library. When it was over, she booed the librarian.
13. You left Facebook open on your phone. Thanks to your 7-year-old, your status was changed to “POOPIE BUTT.”
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14. Your 5-year-old loves to tell people about the time you were arrested. It was a parking ticket.
15. Your 3-year-old showed off her pretty ruffled panties. She was walking down the aisle as flower girl at the time.
16. Your son told your in-laws that he doesn't like trains. He said it while opening the train set they gave him for his birthday.
17. Your 4-year-old was the first of her friends to play in the water on a recent playdate. Unfortunately, it was toilet water.
Image: Jonas Mosesson/Jonas Mosesson Design 18. Your toddler learned how to blow her nose. Without using a tissue.
19. Your 1-year-old ate a chocolate-chip cookie. Then you unknowingly walked around with chocolate smeared to the seat of your pants for the rest of the day.
Kids can make you blush. They also make a mess. Clorox is there for your most bleachable moments.