The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Ryan Adams definitely says "Starbucks Lovers" on the cover of Blank Space
— Anne Helen Petersen (@annehelen) September 21, 2015
can we arrest cabbies who dont tell you that their credit card machine is 'broken' until you get to your destination? @potus
— Tracy LaFway Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) September 22, 2015
In hell the Mariachi band never leaves your table.
— Vee (@lovestained555) September 23, 2015
My TV show would be called Self Destruct-ish.
— erin mallory long (@erinmallorylong) September 21, 2015
if I say "babe, get butter, real butter pls" and you bring back bertolli? i know you've been plotting on how to end it and I got the hint.
— marcía (@kcheersbye) September 23, 2015
my college ex-boyfriends Netflix password and I are celebrating our 6 year anniversary 😍
— Aude White (@audevwhite) September 19, 2015
The thing I like about LA over NYC is when people catcall me I'm in my car and I can just run them over isn't that nice
— Kirsten King (@KirstenKing_) September 23, 2015
A soul patch is like the cherry on top of a douche sundae
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) September 24, 2015
Caught myself absentmindedly drinking a water bottle while peeing, and for a moment knew the phenomenology of a rain gutter.
— ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics) September 23, 2015
"YALL GONNA MAKE IT PUMPKIN SPICE, UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE YALL GONNA MAKE ME LOVE SEPTEMB-" -what I sang as I was escorted out of Starbucks
— Amber (@Amburglar_) September 20, 2015
Tips for writing a tweet about white girls liking pumpkin spice: 1. Do not write it 2. Log off 3. Go pet a dog or something
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) September 23, 2015
"How do you speak such good English?" "I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history?"
— Siri Srinivas (@pjux) September 18, 2015
being a feminist is honestly so much work I can't even enjoy hotline bling without thinking that drake should just let his ex live
— farwz (@farwzaz) September 25, 2015
i love boys but only as a concept
— lexi (@libralexi) September 22, 2015
Man Tinder Profile Recipe: 1. movie quote 2. LOVE THE OUTDOORS 3. just list some countries 4. state your height but resentfully 5. #KCCO
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 19, 2015
the official mascot of San Francisco is a grown man on a razor scooter
— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) September 21, 2015
Gals, don't worry. I'm gonna open my own abortion clinic on Etsy.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) September 19, 2015
My personal brand is actually Taco Bell's
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) September 25, 2015
Shonda Rhimes also helped write the screenplay for The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. The lesson here, kids, is never stop improving.
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) September 25, 2015
We are SECONDS away from a think piece criticizing Taylor Swift for unoriginally covering Ryan Adams' smash album, 1989.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) September 24, 2015
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