The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
"november's not a good time i've booked crying seshes to the new Adele"
— didi (@priya_ebooks) October 23, 2015
New sexual fantasy: He takes my hand, leads me to the bed, and says, in a throaty whisper, "I want you to nap for as long as you like."
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) October 18, 2015
Missing people I barely know. Thanks, Adele.
— Taryn Finley (@_TARYNitUP) October 23, 2015
im wearing all white tonight, cant nobody touch me literally, no one is allowed to touch me
— Tracy Claytomb (@brokeymcpoverty) October 21, 2015
Instead of a block option on Twitter, let's have a "notify his mom" button
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) October 18, 2015
I just met you /and this is crazy /but I'm into proper etiquette /so please keep safe distance and maintain decorous behavior indefinitely.
— Manda Likewine (@Manda_like_wine) October 21, 2015
"boys never start drama like girls do" ok but no?? alexander hamilton and aaron burr dueled over a woman and hamilton d i e d
— farwz (@farwzaz) October 22, 2015
Let me die now and come back as Beyoncé's ponytail
— RAVEN B. (@RAVIEB) October 21, 2015
every time you text a girl she takes a screenshot & puts it into the collaborative Google Doc that only us girls have access to
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) October 18, 2015
When a group of bros mansplains to you for an entire day that's called a Menghazi hearing.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 23, 2015
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's a lifetime spent under the pressure of a society that forces her to look that way.
— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) October 20, 2015
If I could choose just one super power, I would choose calming down.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) October 21, 2015
I counted, and I only love 8 people enough to drive them to the airport.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 18, 2015
I just want to wander into rooms and announce to men "I just did better than you on a test. What test? Don't worry about it." @jackshoegazer
— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) October 22, 2015
The problem with leaning in is that sometimes people respond by leaning out and before you know it everyone's doing the hokey-pokey.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) October 19, 2015
I don't know my own phone number but I do know my best friend's ex boyfriend's aunt's Hulu password.
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) October 22, 2015
just now finding out that 'bts' refers to 'behind the scenes' and not 'better than sex'
— Lara Parker (@laraeparker) October 23, 2015
A new office game: How many times can you listen to Adele's new song on loop before you start weeping at your desk
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) October 23, 2015
Seriously I need to remember that farting when I have headphones on does not prevent everyone else from hearing it, too.
— ErinEph (@ErinEph) October 22, 2015
Me: [crying so hard I can't breathe] why Waiter: [returning my plate] sorry, I thought you were done
— moody monday (@mdob11) October 18, 2015
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