The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Get an expensive black outfit, put your hair in a bun, make everybody carry you: your North West Halloween costume is complete.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) October 28, 2015
wait until those boys saying makeup is the highest form of deceit find out we've been pretending to value their opinions all these years
— Li'l Edie Pentland (@JennyPentland) October 26, 2015
Find someone who will tolerate the 25 different iterations of the same selfie in the quest for the one you post. pic.twitter.com/LIw1ou8Qbm
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) October 26, 2015
My coffee maker should be able to claim me as a dependant.
— Elizabeth is Ruined (@Elizasoul80) October 27, 2015
One of the pettiest things about me is I'm genuinely upset Kim K has more Instagram followers than Beyoncé
— Sweet Potato Season (@sailornegro) October 29, 2015
I don't meditate, but sometimes when all of my devices are plugged in and charging, I understand what it means to be at peace in this world.
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) October 27, 2015
*starts new world religion called, "pants optional"
— bougie beth (@bourgeoisalien) October 24, 2015
isn't the concept of vegetables as candy weird? ppl eat candy corn but like, would you ever want to eat candy broccoli? or candy arugula? NO
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) October 29, 2015
"Have you heard the new Adele song?" means "Have you been reduced to a weeping, sorry mess that's thinking of contacting all your exes?"
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) October 25, 2015
A thing I have in common with a lot of grandpas is how high up we like our pants.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 30, 2015
An app that delivers a date to your house and if you don't like them within 5 minutes you can send them home
— Lynn Bixenspan (@lynnbixenspan) October 30, 2015
sometimes i'd watch high school movies about unpopular girls saying "i feel invisible" and i'd think to myself 'a dude directed this'
— didi (@priya_ebooks) October 26, 2015
people who don't get up for halloween baked goods are people that should probably be on my "don't talk to" list
— Chanel (@chanelinezp) October 28, 2015
From the guys who brought you Dudes, Bros, Dudebros and Dudebros 2 comes Another Comedy About Men Acting Like Boys. In Theaters this Summer.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 30, 2015
Age 4: Sobs because I wasn't invited to a party Age 40: Sobs because I was
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 30, 2015
A haunted house of your past therapists judging your current life choices.
— DeeLiciousRockin' (@TDeeRock) October 30, 2015
🚨 THERE IS A HOT DAD READING HIS CHILD A BOOK ON THE 6 TRAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) October 23, 2015
Sad to report that none of the houses I took my kids trick-or-treating to refilled my wine glass.
— Manda Likewine (@Manda_like_wine) October 30, 2015
happy National Cat Day, fellow shut-ins
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 30, 2015
Saw an article that said a guy "pranked" his wife by making their whole house a ball pit but I think they meant "charmed the bejesus out of"
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) October 29, 2015
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