Despite the lies propagated by my expired driver's license, I am no longer a resident of the beautiful state of Ohio. I had no say on Issue 3, the rejected initiative that would have legalized marijuana medically and recreationally throughout the Buckeye state.
You know who did have a say, though? All of my K-12 teachers who still live there.
Here's a first look at how the educators of River Valley High School in Marion, Ohio --who shaped me into the person I am today -- voted on Issue 3, probably.
Mr. Strothers - YES
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Mr. Strothers' lessons frequently involved long nature walks. He taught history.
Mr. O'Keefe - YES
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At the conclusion of ninth period, he packed up and took home the digital scales.
Mrs. Blankenship - NO
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She struck me as more of a drinker. (Also, she struck me.)
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Mrs. Powell - YES
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Mrs. Powell once described a project of mine as "a radiant exhibition of abstract expressionism." I miss Finger Paint Fridays.
Principal Roberts - YES
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She once confiscated a joint from my classmate's locker. Later that afternoon, our school convened for a three-hour assembly titled "Principal Roberts' Theories on Area 51."
Mr. Lloyd - NO
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There is no strain of marijuana that could make someone this excited about algebra.
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Ms. Tankerson - YES
Ryerson Clark
A substitute teacher whose go-to movie was "The Big Lebowski."
Mr. Lanelle - YES
Hemera Technologies
More than 90 percent of our World Geography class was about Amsterdam.
Mrs. Jarvis - DID NOT VOTE
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Currently serving a lifelong prison sentence for murder.
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Mr. Hawkins - YES
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He was my elementary school music teacher. I rest my case.
Mr. Li - YES
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As our anatomy teacher, he never allowed us to dissect a frog. He did, however, sometimes ask us to babysit his iguana.
Ms. Brinkel - NO
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The sweetest teacher ever. Statewide legalization of marijuana would have jeopardized Ms. Brinkel's business relationships with the major Mexican drug cartels.
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Mrs. Wilcox - SÍ
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"Yo quiero la marihuana" -my Spanish teacher
Mr. Jeffries - YES
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We were too naive to know what our Home Economics teacher meant by, "Now daddy's adding a secret ingredient."
Sister Margaret - YES
Scott Griessel
She missed just one day of class each school year: 4/20.
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