Chris Pratt Has 'Perfect' Balls According To Anna Faris

The Pratt family jewels.
Albert L. Ortega via Getty Images

Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas and Gung Hay Fat Choy (Happy New Year in Cantonese) because Anna Faris just described Chris Pratt's balls ... and they're "perfect."

On her podcast "Anna Faris Is Unqualified," the "Mom" star went into great detail about her famous husband's nether regions. Take that, "Serial." Aubrey Plaza and Jennifer Lawrence were guests on the show, and for the first time in maybe ever, JLaw didn't steal the headline.

Faris and Plaza, who played opposite Pratt on "Parks and Recreation," got into a discussion about what it's like to have a significant other and an on-screen boyfriend. Thanks to BuzzFeed, we've got the transcription.

Aubrey: Yeah, things just get kind of, everyone just treats each other --

Anna: Have you seen my husband’s balls?

Aubrey: I don’t think so. Although there was one episode where, I think he --

Anna: They are incredible.

Aubrey: Maybe he had a banana sling?

Anna: You would remember. Because they are some sexy balls.

In case Faris didn't paint a clear enough picture for you, she reiterates just how amazing his balls actually are. Recalling a moment on set where Pratt surprised Amy Poehler by doing a take completely nude, Faris calls Pratt's genitalia "perfect."

Sim (producer): It was a take, right? Where he walked to the front door, and Amy opened the door and Chris was there completely naked, and Amy had no idea. So Amy’s reaction was genuine, because she was completely shocked. And that clip is circulating online.

Aubrey: But you can’t see anything, right?

Sim: No, you can’t see anything.

Anna: No, but I think there were some issues, because, now I’m going to get sued!

Aubrey: What’s wrong with them?

Anna: Oh, his balls? Nothing, they’re perfect.

Excuse us, we need a moment alone to, uh ... think this one over.

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