The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
[goes to the gym one time] "i'm hot"
— Megan Neuringer (@MeganNeuringer) January 22, 2016
can someone pass the message on to michael b jordan that my phone ate all texts sent in the past 24 hrs so he will have to sext me again thx
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) January 20, 2016
Today is the 30th anniversary of MLK Day becoming a national holiday. But honestly, the country doesn’t look a day over desegregation.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 18, 2016
I have but two goals for my Girl Scout troop, cookie sales and progressive indoctrination, and it looks like we're all done selling cookies
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) January 20, 2016
Is yoda is an aspiring fashion blogger? Yeezy season 2 outfit✔️ Almond shaped acrylics✔️ On trend grey hair✔️ pic.twitter.com/exhDjqbAXj
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) January 21, 2016
In grade school, bullies used to say that liking Sporty Spice made me gay. They were so right LMAO
— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) January 18, 2016
Me on Friday night: pic.twitter.com/8ErDRvD1oV
— Alyssa Bailey (@alyssabailey) January 15, 2016
Every white girl in Brooklyn is gonna be Harley Quinn for Halloween this year. #SuicideSquad
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 20, 2016
if you want to piss off everyone at the whitney, refer to all self-portraits as 'selfies'
— Alanna Okun (@alanna) January 18, 2016
*sets up a gofundme for compliments*
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) January 16, 2016
Periods are like a friend who comes bearing good news but then stays for a week, eats all your food, and borrows and ruins your clothes
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) January 19, 2016
excuse me what the fuck is THUNDER SNOW pic.twitter.com/sz8bzcBzVy
— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) January 21, 2016
Having a spoonful of peanut butter before bed is like the gateway drug to eating half your groceries
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) January 20, 2016
My most aggressive pickup line according to most men: "I too am interested in and knowledgeable about this pop culture topic"
— NATALIE WALKER (@nwalks) January 20, 2016
The one thing I am grateful for this election cycle is the lack of sex stories that have emerged about Bernie Sanders
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) January 20, 2016
LIFE HACK: Don't be an asshole.
— Mary Beth Williams (@embeedub) January 21, 2016
Does this cat look like Adam Driver yes or yes pic.twitter.com/9lTL5UgQsl
— Jamie Feldman (@RealGirlProject) January 18, 2016
People that got a full nights sleep before early flights sicken me.
— Liza Treyger (@GlitterCheese) January 17, 2016
everyone's got an ex-boyfriend who lives in murray hill
— Caroline Bologna (@CarolineSB) January 21, 2016
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
Also on HuffPost:
The 50 Funniest Tweets From Women In 2015
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It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
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