The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Uh hi. Do you have anything that ENHANCES fine lines around the eyes and mouth? I'm trying to get a senior citizen discount.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) March 24, 2016
When 'so many things on the floor' becomes an actual aesthetic I'm going to be considered an interior design god.
— Manda LikeCatsOK? (@Manda_like_wine) March 19, 2016
Happy birthday @Twitter! I love you. You're like my best friend who I talk to endlessly but don't have to listen to their problems. ❤️
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 21, 2016
Trump's a good lesson that people believe whatever if you say it forcefully enough, also, I'm the best tweeter, brilliant, everyone loves me
— maura quint (@behindyourback) March 20, 2016
I'm not allowed to play PS4 until I finish my taxes because adulting.
— Azie Mira Dungey (@AzieDee) March 21, 2016
Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 23, 2016
I miss the steady stream of Clinique makeup bags from my youth.
— Kassia (@kassiamiller) March 22, 2016
whoever invented mozzarella sticks was probably like i want to create something that will prevent other people from creating anything
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 19, 2016
Donald Trump should start by building a wall between what he thinks and what he says.
— shady lady (@goldengateblond) March 18, 2016
if you really want to get to know a millennial facebook stalk them back to the photobooth pics they took with their freshman year roommates
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) March 17, 2016
I'm not saying we should *permanently* ban men from running for office, but for a while, you know, until we figure out what's going on.
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) March 24, 2016
What keeps me up at night? Besides the usual? Knowing someone out there says "my personal brand" without feeling slightly like an asshole.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 22, 2016
when did white people start using "woke"
— Zeba Blay (@zblay) March 24, 2016
MEDIA: "We can't believe Trump would tweet something so awful!!!"
— Kate Spencer (@katespencer) March 24, 2016
WOMEN OF THE INTERNET: *scrolls through mentions*
"We can"
You're not doing brunch right unless by the time it's over it's been so long since you've eaten that you're hungry for more brunch.
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) March 19, 2016
*tries to decide what to watch on Netflix*
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) March 24, 2016
*spends 35 minutes scrolling*
*gives up and watches Clueless for the thousandth time*
RT if you google "beyonce" every time you need to use an e with an accent
— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) March 24, 2016
You know when you give a BALLER tip and are excited then the person just stares at your blankly? I imagine that's what having a kid is like
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) March 24, 2016
When I get my ID checked at airport security I feel like I'm auditioning to be cast as myself the day I took my drivers license pic.
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) March 24, 2016
nothing screams "adulthood" quite like lugging 30 lbs of dirty clothes to the laundromat in a giant, white Hefty garbage bag
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) March 24, 2016
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