The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
In France they dont say "I love u" they say "Je vous ai apporté Popeyes" which means "I brought u Popeyes" and I think that's just beautiful
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) April 10, 2016
Ugh kids so narcissistic with their "selfies" I miss the good old days when people commissioned 8 ft tall oil portraits
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 9, 2016
Personally victimized by the lack of a Beyoncé album.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) April 15, 2016
Phones are not made for calling. Call no one. Never leave voicemails. Talk to no one. Find success.
— lyz lenz (@lyzl) April 11, 2016
SALARY NEGOTIATING TIPS FOR WOMEN: ask employer about their needs, apologize for existing, tell them you'll work a half day on your due date
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 12, 2016
CASTING NOTICE:
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) April 12, 2016
WOMAN to fill role of both Madonna and Whore, to make me feel better about all women who have rejected me, including my mom
the human body is such a big responsibility, who signed me up for this
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) April 11, 2016
Just heard about something called "rage yoga" and I think this might be the thing that completes me.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) April 10, 2016
me: i'm salty
— yung sweet lassi (@andnowtothemoon) April 14, 2016
me when i'm pregnant: i'm being salty for two
I'd watch an entire Harry Potter movie of young Hermione actually-ing the boys.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 11, 2016
I've never been ghosted but I have been blatantly ignored by ghosts my whole life and it's just as painful
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 11, 2016
i live in a reality where chris and liam hemsworth are the same person, and let me tell u, it's liberating
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) April 15, 2016
There's nothing like not being able to sleep to remind me I can even fail at basic human functions.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 15, 2016
Sorry I'm late, I couldn't figure out a good time to come out of the revolving door.
— rats in paradise (@NicCageMatch) April 15, 2016
Beyoncé: OK LADIES NOW LET'S GET IN FORMATION
— Whitley Gilbert (@_CallMeLola) April 14, 2016
Us: 🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾
Beyoncé:
Beyoncé:
Beyoncé:
Beyoncé:
Hillary is Fox Books.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 15, 2016
Bernie is Shop Around the Corner.
And if they only knew they were emailing each other, no one would be yelling at all.
If the zombie apocalypse happened, I would die the second we ran out of contact solution
— Sam Escobar (@myhairisblue) April 15, 2016
Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
— Living Marble (@living_marble) April 14, 2016
I am single by choice. I CHOOSE to be with people who ultimately choose to not be with me.
— WEIRDO (@theweirdjulie) April 13, 2016
9am: im so tired
— Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) April 14, 2016
12pm: im so tired
3pm: im so tired
6pm: im so tired
9pm: [someone] why dont u just go to bed now?
me: lol what like a loser
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