The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
how to be old:
— Erica (@SCbchbum) June 1, 2016
[courtesy of my dad]
-curse technology
[courtesy of my mom]
-say, "that Meryl Streep sure is talented" a few times a week
I nod at every teen I see with good posture in case it is really just some adult having a Freaky Friday.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 31, 2016
Strange to think that some people have a dining room table that is not their bed.
— Manda LikeCatsOK? (@Manda_like_wine) June 1, 2016
PACKING TIP: start
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 30, 2016
"Kids say the darnedest things!" is an adult's way of saying "I'm sorry my kid just told you the truth about yourself"
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) May 29, 2016
skills include:
— Ziwe (@Ziweeee) June 2, 2016
1. not knowing what to do when people cry
2. walking backwards out of rooms
You Tube is great when you want to learn anyone can be famous but most people shouldn't be.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 31, 2016
*self-medicates with Cheez Its*
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 3, 2016
I hope Adele's ex said to his girl "hey, you're my new lover and Adele sends her love" Then right away realizes Adele actually sent a fight
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) June 3, 2016
If people are upset about female ghostbusters, ho boy I can only imagine how mad they'd be if a woman wanted to be president or something
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 3, 2016
IDEA: a "regret-o-meter" for twenty-somethings that informs them how much they're gonna one day regret what they're about to do.
— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) June 2, 2016
Finding Dory is going go be the second best movie in the Taken series after Finding Nemo.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 2, 2016
When someone says they're "going through a lot right now"… I imagine it's a parking lot… in front of Walmart…That sounds rough.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) June 2, 2016
me: I take such good care of my skin why do I always break out
— farwz (@farwzaz) June 3, 2016
also me: *eats chocolate six times a day, has never seen a fruit before*
Fitness status: Saved a bunch of workout videos on fb for later.
— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) June 2, 2016
Much later.
Probably never look at them again.
Guys almost always invite you back to their place if you take something with you like a hoodie or their wallet when you leave in the morning
— Toxic is Super Cute (@ToxicProbably) May 31, 2016
But Can You Wear A Bra With It!?, the game where top scientists help ordinary women determine which sundresses they can leave the house in
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) June 3, 2016
What's the recommended age to teach kids that Google has all the answers to their homework?
— mommy needs a drink (@mom_needsadrink) June 2, 2016
"Throw wood chips in my kid's face again & I'll end you" I say to a punk kid at the park through my teeth while smiling sweetly at his mom.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) June 2, 2016
People doing the speed limit are going to:
— Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) June 3, 2016
-the dentist
-the library
-buy kale
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