Hey, Women Who Play Pokémon GO, Check Out My Bedroom

Want to go back to my place for a nightcap and a Zapdos?
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DATING PROFILE

Aaron

26-year-old man

New York City, United States

Seeking women, 24-99 years old

ABOUT ME: I like baseball, darts and lobster rolls. Also, I just downloaded the Pokémon GO app and discovered that my 14-by-12-foot bedroom is host to a surprisingly dense collection of the world’s rarest Pokémon. An apparent glitch has caused the most extraordinary pocket monsters to congregate together at my place only. So... you up?

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Is it getting hot in here or is it just my legendary bird engulfed in dazzling flames?

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Oh, your last boyfriend had a puppy? Mew is similar, except he’s exponentially more adorable and disposes of his own poop.

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Vodka on the rocks? No problem. Oh shoot, I’m out of ice. One sec...

ARTICUNO! COME LAY SOME CUBE-SHAPED EGGS IN THE PRETTY LADY’S GLASS!

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My apartment is rent-controlled and mind-controlled.

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The only downside to this infestation is this one creep who will not GTFO of my bathroom.

Before You Go

LOADINGERROR LOADING

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