The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Tweet like your therapist is watching
— Sophia Rivka Rossi (@sofifii) February 3, 2017
I realized taking dogs for walks is basically their way of checking social media. One lap of smells is a newsfeed scroll. Peeing is posting.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 3, 2017
If we don't call the resistance band Grab Em By The Pussy Riot we should call it Bitch It's Saturday
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) January 30, 2017
You know how much older Obama looked at the end of his presidency? I had that age progression, but just since 1/20.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) February 3, 2017
Next time Trump gives a speech, make Winona Ryder stand next to him and translate for all of us through her facial expressions.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) January 30, 2017
Watch POTUS try to take on the Beyhive. That will be his ruin.
— Rebecca Carroll (@rebel19) February 2, 2017
Words and phrases that have been destroyed by this administration: "trump card" "going nuclear" "huge" "big league" "orange"
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) February 1, 2017
Men on here when they see women enjoying literally anything pic.twitter.com/XIE4R8jRy4
— Momma Zee (@_Respecttheafro) February 2, 2017
I'm gonna be Beyonce's pregnancy announcement for Halloween. 🐝
— alison cooper (@LindyLovesAl) February 1, 2017
I know who my real friends are because they texted me about beyonce's twin blessings
— Jenna //\\ Wortham (@jennydeluxe) February 1, 2017
ok babies, now let's get in formation.
— sonia saraiya (@soniasaraiya) February 1, 2017
can't wait for women's history month when Pence & Tr*mp thank the brave dudes who let us have a month outside the kitchen
— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) February 2, 2017
I'm not proud that my survival instinct in times of crisis is to tweet a shit joke.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) February 3, 2017
TRENDWATCH 2017 pic.twitter.com/N6a38I0J4o
— Molly McGlew (@MollyMcGlew) February 1, 2017
now is the time to have all the panic sex you can bc this is it
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) January 29, 2017
Wait what if Bey names her twins Kelly and Michelle and then they're LITERALLY Destiny's Child
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) February 1, 2017
Howard Stern says Trump just wants to be loved, not President. Mr. Trump if you resign, millions of people would throw you a love parade!
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) February 3, 2017
"all sidechicks shall be shipped to Guantanamo" pic.twitter.com/Pu624FW8ye
— Ziwe (@ziwe) January 29, 2017
WANTED: Person to follow everyone who lives in this house and shut lights when they leave a room. Now accepting applications. Free room
— Lily Rose (@LilyRoseLynn) February 1, 2017
Disappointed and shocked at how few friends have reached out to congratulate me on Beyonce's pregnancy. #disappointed #shocked
— Courtney Nunes (@courtney_nunes) February 1, 2017
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