Like so many things, the Valentine’s Day experience tends to change after having kids.
Between the failed attempts to sneak some grown-up alone time and the pressure to make Pinterest-worthy valentines for every single one of your kids’ classmates, it’s hard to feel the romance around February 14.
But, at least you can laugh about it! We scoured Twitter and found some hilarious tweets about Valentine’s Day from moms and dads in the throes of parenting chaos.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
— Marlebean (@Marlebean) February 11, 2015
My toddler running around in just a diaper, chocolate smeared all over his body & face like war paint. So Valentine’s Day is going well.
— Heather Spohr (@mamaspohr) February 14, 2016
I think my son is really going to appreciate me secretly adding, "LOVE YA SWEET CHEEKS!" to all his valentines for the kids in his class.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 8, 2013
I'm not sure what my husband has planned for Valentine's Day but I hope it involves him taking the kids & leaving me home alone.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 10, 2017
6yo: I'm bored
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 13, 2016
Me: How about you make a Valentine's Day card?
6yo: pic.twitter.com/lGeLDFzo6c
I'm chaperoning a Valentine's Day date for my 15yo and his girlfriend so I made her garlic pizza for dinner. Genius Level: 100
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) February 15, 2016
Writing a Valentine's Day poem for the love of my life called:
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 10, 2017
"Hey. Let's Stay Awake After the Kids Go to Bed and Have a Quickie."
My 5yo included a little something special with each Valentine she signed...
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) February 9, 2016
Germs. Because she coughed on every single one of them.
Brought 20 Valentines for 30 kids in my son's class. Cuz VIP only. Or I forgot how many kids there were or something.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) February 13, 2016
My husband, as we drove four hours in our minivan today with four children and their leftover V-Day party loot: "Fun Dip should be illegal."
— Allison Slater Tate (@AllisonState) February 16, 2014
I wouldn't say I'm unpleasant, but I would say my husband bought me a cactus for Valentine's Day and I was not surprised.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) February 8, 2017
Can't wait to battle my kid to help me make 20 Valentines that he will say are not as cool as the ones Liam's mom made.
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) February 10, 2017
Took the kids to the store yesterday to pick out their own Valentine's gifts, so don't tell me I'm not preparing them for marriage.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 15, 2021
My 13 year-old and her best friend think Valentine’s Day is dumb and have renamed it Chocolate Day- a day where you eat as much chocolate as you can, in as many forms as you can. Feel free to adopt. ☺️ 🍫 ♥️
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) February 5, 2020
Planning a hot Valentine's Day where I'll give husband one of 6yo's leftover Avengers cards, SpongeBob chocolates & his choice on Netflix.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 10, 2016
The card my 5yo chose to give to his class for Valentine's day: pic.twitter.com/xqEnrogvsv
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 1, 2015
V-Day is soon! Nothing says romance like an anonymous note with the words, "You're Next" written all creepy and child-like. #helpful
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 15, 2016
Hubs booked a romantic getaway at a resort for Valentine's Day.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 8, 2017
I'll miss him, but when I said I wanted peace and quiet, I meant alone.
Don't feel obligated to compliment my fragrance on our Valentine's date. It's just baby spit-up.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 14, 2015
My Valentine is whichever kid falls asleep first tonight so I can steal his/her candy sooner.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 13, 2016
Valentine panic pre kids- I forgot to chill the champagne.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) February 13, 2015
Valentine panic post kids-I have 3 dozen cupcakes to ice and no champagne left.
I bought my kids candy for Valentine's Day.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 14, 2021
They were underwhelmed.
Then I let them eat it for breakfast.
Now I'm the best dad ever.
Teaching my kids how to make Valentines out of toilet paper rolls to be Eco-Friendly, but mainly to illustrate this Holiday is full of shit.
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma) January 17, 2016
I like to play this fun game where I try to figure out the best cocktails to go with all the candy I steal from my kids' class valentines.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 13, 2015
7yo told me he asked a girl to be his valentine for the class party 2moro by drawing her a slice of pizza.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) February 11, 2016
The kid is brilliant.
The toddler's asleep!
— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross) February 14, 2016
Let the Valentine's Festivities BEGIN!
😪😪😪
This AM my son: "I need a bag for Valentines at school today."
— B. Miller (@BlaiseInKC) February 10, 2017
Me: "Don't you need cards?"
Him: "It's ok. I'll pretend to pass out cards."
The fact that Chuck E. Cheese’s is open today says that someone out there is having a far worse Valentine’s Day than you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 14, 2019
My 4yo woke me up at 7am to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 14, 2015
BRB, I have to go tell him that love is bullshit and everyone dies alone.
Me: Happy Valentine's Day, kids! Here are some homemade cinnamon rolls I made for you!
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) February 14, 2015
Kid: Why didn't you make them into hearts?
Me: ...
For Valentine's Day, let's avoid people we know in Target together.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) February 12, 2017
Trying to be a good mom I made homemade Valentine's with my kids being an idiot I used glue stick as chapstick so yes these lips ARE sealed
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) February 14, 2013
Wishful Parenting Talk on Valentine's Day: "We got a babysitter!"
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 14, 2015
Likely Parenting Talk on Valentine's Day: "The babysitter cancelled."
I want to do a Valentine's day craft with my kids. And by "craft" I mean we're going to "eat those sugar cookies with 6 inches of frosting."
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 3, 2016
Me: Valentine’s Day is coming up.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 21, 2015
4-year-old: Is that the one with Leprechauns?
Me: No.
4: Not interested.
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