The “Dirty Dancing” remake on ABC, which aired Wednesday night, was perhaps doomed from the start. Why mess with a classic? (Seriously, though: Why?) Early promos did little to dispel the fear that the remake was a hot mess waiting to happen; reviewsthatcame in right before the special’s airtime didn’t help, either.
The new version wasn’t totally reprehensible — Sarah Hyland, Debra Messing and Nicole Scherzinger are all charming, and J. Quinton Johnson of Broadway’s “Hamilton” is a talented but underutilized new face. Still, the original “Dirty Dancing” — with its memorable lines and delightful rom-com trappings — remains the girl ABC told its iteration not to worry about. Try as the network might, the “Dirty Dancing” remake failed to capture the poignancy and heart of the original, preferring to whack its audience over the head with character exposition and the feminism that felt so fresh and subversive in the original film.
Advertisement
As with all one-time-only TV events these days, Twitter showed up to watch the glorious trainwreck firsthand. Let’s recap some of the cringe-ier moments.
All the out-of-place singing numbers
Johnny sang. Baby sang. Lisa sang. Dr. and Mrs. Houseman sang! Seriously everyone sang, presumably to flesh out the program so it would take up a full three-hour television block, and hardly any of it was memorable. “Grease: Live!” this was not.
#DirtyDancing and now the vocal stylings of Mr. Houseman
— lilmssunshine761 (@lilmssunshine76) May 25, 2017
Advertisement
The unexpected drama with the Housemans’ marriage
Jerry Orbach’s and Kelly Bishop’s characters never offered any indication in the original film that behind their picture-book marriage was a dried-up sex life and the threat of divorce, but thats what Baby’s parents were up to this time around. The resolution at the end — they decide to stay together, nearly get caught by their kids while having sex, and even join in (singing!!!) the iconic final dance number. While it was nice to get a little more shading in of these characters, this plotline felt rushed.
This is NOT Jake Houseman. Jerry Orbach's Jake was a devoted husband and father. This one can't bother w/ anything but golf #DirtyDancing
The missing Schumachers, the wallet-stealing elderly couple
Their whole part in the plot was subbed in with Katey Sagal’s character, a “bungalow bunny,” framing Johnny for stealing her Rolex. The Schumachers were robbed (pun absolutely intentional).
The lackluster dance moves
In the original, dancing was everything. In this version, Breslin —although she tried — just wasn’t hitting those mambo steps with the same gusto Jennifer Grey did.
The remaking of classic songs ...
It is a truth universally acknowledged that “Hungry Eyes” and “She’s Like the Wind” should not be messed with.
Was the music for #DirtyDancing done on a Casio???? For the love of God!!!
Because nothing is sacred, the whole remake was framed around a 1980s Baby, now a grown-up, seeing “Dirty Dancing: The Musical” on Broadway and reminiscing about the summer that changed everything. At the end — surprise! — she encounters Johnny Castle, who directed the production. Then, Baby’s kid and husband make an appearance, to show Johnny that she’s all grown up and cool now. Exit the theater, zoom in on Breslin’s face, and finish on a classic freeze frame shot.
It all begged the question: But why?
Daughter: "My mommy dances." Baby: "Not really." TRUEST LINE OF THIS "MOVIE." #dirtydancing
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.