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March 4, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

Darren Wilson Cleared By Feds

Darren Wilson

More Politics
Cruz Defense.. Walker Story You Missed.. Graham's Sexist Shot.. Dems Hurt.. Clinton Hints Again

Hillary Clinton Email Story Gets Much Shadier


Hillary Camp Flips Out

DOJ Issues Damning Report On Ferguson Police, Courts

Darren Wilson
Scott Olson via Getty Images

Routinely Violated Rights Of Black Citizens... Racist Emails... 'Nobody Videotapes Me'...

Woman Sentenced To 20 Years For Firing Warning Shot Speaks Out

Marissa Alexander

More Black Voices
'Black Future Month'.. Kid Rock Vs. Beyhive.. Locs.. Mo'Nique Talks Being 'Blackballed'

Edward Snowden: There's 'No Fair Trial Available' If I Return To The U.S.

Edward Snowden

Heroin Overdose Deaths Nearly Quadruple In 13 Years

Heroin Overdose Deaths
VikaValter via Getty Images

More Healthy Living
Common Sleep Disorders.. Make Running Fun.. Sad Movies.. Best Part-Time Jobs.. Fear

One Of America's Oldest Safety Nets Is Being Demolished

Industrial Worker

More Business
Big McDonald's News.. Marissa Mayer Is Wrong.. You Tell 'Em Kanye.. Forbes Yuck.. Whole Foods Fix

USA Today Columnist Reveals How He Knows The 'End Times' Are Upon Us


More Gay Voices
Youngest Same-Sex Kiss On TV.. The Dress Is Featured In Gay Erotic Novella.. RuPaul Opens Up

Mexican Drug Lord Captured

Cartel Zetas
YURI CORTEZ via Getty Images

More WorldPost
ISIS Mocked.. Future Of AI.. Ai Weiwei Escapes To Alcatraz!.. 'Boring And Repetitive'.. Fierce Clashes

Really, CNN?

Jon Stewart Jews
Comedy Central

More Comedy
Funny Texting Pranks.. High In Church Spoof.. Conan In Cuba.. Fallons Dances On Desk.. Cut 'SNL' Vid

These Companies Want To Kill Passwords

Jamie Grill via Getty Images

More Tech
Waze Amber Alerts.. Phone Battery Poll.. New BlackBerry.. Lenovo Investigated.. Google's Cellular Plan

Catholic School Teachers Protest Anti-Gay Archbishop

ballyscanlon via Getty Images

More Religion
#MeetAMuslimFamily.. Churches Grapple With Gay Members.. Controversial Idaho Hindu Prayer

Alabama County Halts All Marriages Following Same-Sex Marriage Block

Alabama Gay Marriage

Ben Carson: Being Gay Is 'Absolutely' A Choice


The Most Critical And Complex Battle With ISIS Yet

Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

'American Democracy Is Doomed'

Washington Burning
Library of Congress

Major School District Officially Adds 2 Muslim Holidays To School Calendar

De Blasio
Andrew Burton via Getty Images

Report: Obama Administration's Relationship With Press Among Worst Ever

Obama Press Briefing

More Media
TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

McDonald's Steps Away From Antibiotic-Treated Chickens

Antibiotics In Chicken Superbugs
Bloomberg via Getty Images

How Workplace Injuries Are Adding To Income Inequality

Broken Leg
Fresno Bee via Getty Images

Bibi's Speech Didn't Win Anyone Over


Obama: Offered No 'Viable Alternatives' To Iran Deal... Did Speech Do More Harm Than Good?...

...MEANWHILE: 'Some Progress' In U.S.-Iran Nuclear Talks


REPORT: NBC Shakeup Could Open The Door For Brian Williams' Return

Brian Williams Nbc

McDonald's Makes Big Move Away From Antibiotic-Treated Chickens

YOSHIKAZU TSUNO via Getty Images

Student Debt Rebellion Gains Steam In Congress

Maxine Waters
Bill Clark via Getty Images

Did He Lie To Congress? Bibi's Speech Fact-Checked

Win McNamee via Getty Images

What Prominent Israelis Thought Of Netanyahu's Speech

Texas Shootings Kill 3 Young Boys In Just 4 Days

Texas Child Shootings
Family Photo

Boston Marathon Bombing Trial Begins: 'He Had Murder In His Heart'

Tsarnaev Dzhokhar

More Crime
Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

Trade Deal Already Hurting Democrats

Sad Donkey
Jeff Foott via Getty Images

Putin Says Opposition Leader's Murder Was Political

Sasha Mordovets via Getty Images

The Shameful Truth Behind America's Use Of Leghold Traps

Sad Dog
Yellow Dog Productions via Getty Images

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

India Bans Film Featuring Interview With Delhi Gang Rape Convict

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Anti-Semitism Is On The Rise In German Schools


NFL Player Announces He's Donating His Brain To Science


More Sports
Company Disses NCAA.. Durant Left Hanging.. 'I'll F**king Kill You'.. D-Rose's New Inspirational Video

Alabama Supreme Court Blocks Same-Sex Marriages

Roy Moore Alabama
Matthew Cavanaugh via Getty Images

Target To Cut Thousands Of Jobs

Target Logo


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The Key To Cleaning A Cast Iron Skillet

Skillet Brownie
Victoria Pearson via Getty Images

More HuffPost Home
'House Of Cards' Sale.. Martha Says.. How To Clean Cast Iron.. DIY Avocados.. Tour JFK's Home

'The First Feminists In America'

Getty Images

More HuffPost Live
Herpes Vaccine In Sight?.. Jeremy Roenick.. Bibi Speech Coverage.. 'Armageddon' Cyber Attack

Turns Out Lizzy Caplan Is The Most "Fetch" Of All

Lizzy Caplan
Getty Images

More Style
Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

Medieval Bones Tell Tale Of Violent Death

Knight Jousting
Headland Archaeology UK Ltd

More Science
Smallest Form Of Life.. Long-Lost Fortress Found.. Hawking's Big Warning.. New View Of Deep Space

This Satire About Race In America Is Seriously Funny

The Sellout

More Books
Elena Ferrante.. How Art Can Sharpen Your Mind.. Dr. Seuss.. Veronica Roth.. New J.K. Rowling

How I Stay Awake At Work Without Drinking Coffee

Spilled Coffee
Patrick Strattner via Getty Images

Jenna Jameson's Top 3 Ways Women Can Feel Sexy

Jenna Jameson

More OWN
Be Happier By Sunday.. Save Money On Groceries.. Liz Taylor's Topless Pics.. Super Fluffy Pancakes

14 Love Notes That Show The Quirkier Side Of Romance

Hurry Up I Have To Poop
Katie Phillips

Why One Artist Is Shredding $10k Worth Of Real Money


More Arts
Feminist African Artists.. Art World Sexism.. Zoetropes As Art.. Contemporary Ceramicists.. Puppets!

'Walking Dead' Star Norman Reedus Finally Explains Why He Licks People


More TV
'Empire'.. Craziest 'Game Of Thrones' Theories.. 'HoC'.. A 'Downton' Star Leaving?.. 'HTGAWM'.. 'Star Trek'

Microsoft Co-Founder Says He Found A Sunken WWII Warship

Musashi Paul Allen
Paul Allen

Horse Sanctuary Refuses To Let Lease Troubles Stop Them From Giving Animals A Better Home

Villa Chardonnay

NBA Player Quite Literally Falls Asleep On The Job


6 Reasons Gray Hair Is White-Hot

Gray Hair
Peter Augustin via Getty Images

More Fifty
Warren Buffett's Secret To Long Life.. How To Retire Abroad.. Top Sex Toys.. Judi Dench.. Melanie Griffith

The Other Pink Slime Lurking In Your Home

Shower Curtain
SaxioTobo via Getty Images

Maybe He Only Plays Dumb


The Trick To Saving Money While Grocery Shopping

Cook Smarts

More Taste
20 Most Popular Beers.. America's Original Speakeasies.. Free Cone Day.. Best Babkas.. Pound Cakes

World's Oldest Woman Says Turning 117 Is No Big Deal

Misao Okawa
Buddhika Weerasinghe via Getty Images

20 Free Things To Do In Paris

Paris Night
Hans Wolf via Getty Images

More Travel
Boston .. Disney World Tips.. Road Trip Throwback.. Cheapest Spots.. Free Paris.. What To Do In Cuba

Patricia Arquette Clarifies Oscar Night Comments

Patricia Arquette Oscars
Albert L. Ortega via Getty Images

More Entertainment
True Crime Docs.. 'Community' Is Back.. JT & Jess.. Swift Love.. Britney Trouble.. JGL Snowden..

Ancient Lost City Discovered In Honduras Rainforest

Lost City
Dave Yoder/National Geographic

How Your Daily Commute Affects Your Health

monkeybusinessimages via Getty Images

Women's Health Providers Prefer To Use IUDs For Their Own Birth Control

Jonathan Knowles via Getty Images

Mt. Everest Is Covered In Human Poop, And That's a Problem

Everest Summit
JTB Photo via Getty Images

Here's Why You Should Leave The City During A Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Outbreak

More Weird
Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

This Is The Perfect Example Of Mom, Interrupted

Toddler Interrupts

More Parents
Funny Tweets.. 8 Ways To Have An Informed Birth.. #Brelfies.. Glorious Vintage Photos.. No More Elsa

Study On Average Penis Size Redefines 'Normal'

Average Penis Length
RapidEye via Getty Images

Basketball Player Comforts Child Spectator After Court Brawl

Spain Basketball Brawl
ACB / YouTube

Jimmy Kimmel Fires Back Over Vaccination Mean Tweets