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March 4, 2015

62 Takeaways From CPAC 2015, Ranked

Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.

Hillary Clinton Email Story Gets Much Stranger


More Politics
Cruz Defense.. Walker Story You Missed.. Graham's Sexist Shot.. Dems Hurt.. Clinton Hints Again



Obama: Offered No 'Viable Alternatives' To Iran Deal... Did Speech Do More Harm Than Good?

REPORT: NBC Shakeup Could Open The Door For Brian Williams' Return

Brian Williams Nbc

More Media
TV News' Diversity Problem.. PR KILLING Journalism.. First Look TELL-ALL.. 'SNL' ISIS Skit..

The Morning Email: Petraeus Takes Plea Deal

One Of America's Oldest Safety Nets Is Being Demolished

Industrial Worker

More Business
Obamacare v. Supreme Court.. World Bank Accused.. Kanye Slams Inequality..Forbes 500 Problem

Really, CNN?

Jon Stewart Jews
Comedy Central

More Comedy
Funny Texting Pranks.. Being High In Church.. Cut 'SNL' 'Fifty Shades' Sketch.. #WeaselPecker Meme

'Some Progress' Made On Nuclear Talks


More WorldPost
ISIS Mocked.. Future Of AI.. Ai Weiwei Escapes To Alcatraz!.. 'Boring And Repetitive'.. Fierce Clashes

The Most Critical And Complex Battle With ISIS Yet

Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

Mexican Drug Lord Captured

Cartel Zetas
YURI CORTEZ via Getty Images

Ben Carson: Being Gay Is 'Absolutely' A Choice


'American Democracy Is Doomed'

Washington Burning
Library of Congress

Did He Lie To Congress? Bibi's Speech Fact-Checked

Win McNamee via Getty Images

What Prominent Israelis Thought Of Netanyahu's Speech

Texas Shootings Kill 3 Young Boys In Just 4 Days

Texas Child Shootings
Family Photo

Opening Statements Begin In Boston Marathon Bombing Trial

Tsarnaev Dzhokhar

More Crime
Mommy Blogger.. 'Baby Boxes'.. Cop Arrested For Soliciting Women.. Kids In Cage.. Adderall Arrest

Student Debt Rebellion Gains Steam In Congress

Maxine Waters
Bill Clark via Getty Images

Trade Deal Already Hurting Democrats

Sad Donkey
Jeff Foott via Getty Images

Putin Says Opposition Leader's Murder Was Political

Sasha Mordovets via Getty Images

The Shameful Truth Behind America's Use Of Leghold Traps

Sad Dog
Yellow Dog Productions via Getty Images

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

India Bans Film Featuring Interview With Delhi Gang Rape Convict

Mukesh Singh
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Anti-Semitism Is On The Rise In German Schools


NFL Player Announces He's Donating His Brain To Science

Skull Brain Scan
BSIP via Getty Images

More Sports
Company Disses NCAA.. Durant Left Hanging.. 'I'll F**king Kill You'.. D-Rose's New Inspirational Video

Alabama Supreme Court Blocks Same-Sex Marriages

Roy Moore Alabama
Matthew Cavanaugh via Getty Images

Nearly 1,000 Migrants Rescued Off Italy

FETHI NASRI via Getty Images

British Man Killed Fighting Against ISIS In Syria

Konstandinos Erik Scurfield

THE END: House Caves In Homeland Security Fight With Obama

House Funding Dhs
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

Dozens Feared Dead In Ukraine Coal Mine Explosion

Zasyadko Mine Explosion
JOHN MACDOUGALL via Getty Images

Scott Walker Aims To Boost Anti-Abortion Cred

Scott Walker

Target To Cut Thousands Of Jobs

Target Logo

28 Countries Reportedly More Vulnerable To Ebola Than Liberia

Save The Children
CJ Clarke/Save the Children

Ferguson Police Department May Fold Due To DOJ Probe

Ferguson Police Line
JOSHUA LOTT via Getty Images

Feds: Cops Routinely Discriminate Against Black Residents

Police: Machete-Wielding Man Held Mom Hostage Over eBay Purchase

Aaron Perez
North Riverside Police

JetBlue Passenger Found Hiding In Cockpit

Jetblue Airlines

Hillary Clinton Hints Again At Presidential Run

Hillary Clinton
Justin Sullivan via Getty Images

West Virginia Gov Vetoes 20-Week Abortion Ban For 2nd Time

Earl Ray Tomblin

Details Emerge About Homeless Man Killed By LAPD

Lapd Shooting
Facebook/Anthony Blackburn

Oklahoma Moves Closer To Allowing Nitrogen Gas Executions

Oklahoma Capitol
Chris Pritchard via Getty Images


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6 Reasons Gray Hair Is White Hot

Gray Hair
Peter Augustin via Getty Images

How I Stay Awake At Work Without Drinking Coffee

Spilled Coffee
Patrick Strattner via Getty Images

20 Free Things To Do In Paris

Paris Night
Hans Wolf via Getty Images

More Travel
Boston .. Disney World Tips.. Road Trip Throwback.. Cheapest Spots.. NYC Hotels.. Hotel Bidding Win

Patricia Arquette Clarifies Oscar Night Comments

Patricia Arquette Oscars
Albert L. Ortega via Getty Images

More Entertainment
True Crime Docs.. 'Community' Is Back.. JT & Jess.. Swift Love.. Britney Trouble.. JGL Snowden..

Ancient Lost City Discovered In Honduras Rainforest

Lost City
Dave Yoder/National Geographic

This Is How You Save Money At The Grocery Store

Cook Smarts

More Taste
20 Most Popular Beers.. America's Original Speakeasies.. Free Cone Day.. Best Babkas.. Pound Cakes

The Other Pink Slime Lurking In Your Home

Shower Curtain
SaxioTobo via Getty Images

How Your Daily Commute Affects Your Health

monkeybusinessimages via Getty Images

More Healthy Living
Common Sleep Disorders.. Make Running Fun.. Sad Movies.. Best Part-Time Jobs.. Fear

Women's Health Providers Prefer To Use IUDs For Their Own Birth Control

Jonathan Knowles via Getty Images

Would You Let A Dentist Give You Botox?

Peter Cade via Getty Images

Here's Why You Should Leave The City During A Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Outbreak

More Weird
Kentucky Smells.. Weed In Sour Cream.. Unsurprising DWI Arrest.. Man Fails To Steal Plane

Canadians Are 'Spocking' Their Fivers And It's Totally Legal

Spock 5 Bill Canada

You Don't Have To Wait Until Halloween To Dress Up As Left Shark

Katy Perry Shark

More Style
Ms. Wintour Unplugged.. Neon Nails.. Say It Ain't Khlo, E!.. We <3 Milan Fashion Week.. Blackface Again!

This Is The Perfect Example Of Mom, Interrupted

Toddler Interrupts

More Parents
Funny Tweets.. 8 Ways To Have An Informed Birth.. #Brelfies.. Glorious Vintage Photos.. No More Elsa

A Memo To The Men Who Told Me Not To Eat

altrendo images via Getty Images

More Women
Classic Feminist Flicks.. Eating Disorder Myths.. What Comic Book Heroines SHOULD Look Like..

Been Married A Long Time? Here's How To Reclaim The Passion

Couples Sleeping
gmast3r via Getty Images

Uber Rides Don't Get Any More Awkward Than This


More Divorce
I Had An Affair.. Boston Marathon Couple Divorce.. Don't Say This On Date.. Doctors' Divorce Rate

Study On Average Penis Size Redefines 'Normal'

Average Penis Length
RapidEye via Getty Images

Basketball Player Comforts Child Spectator After Court Brawl

Spain Basketball Brawl
ACB / YouTube

Curt Schilling Gets Twitter Troll Who Terrorized His Daughter Fired

Curt Schilling

Jimmy Kimmel Fires Back Over Vaccination Mean Tweets


Mt. Everest Is Covered In Human Poop, And That's a Problem

Everest Summit
JTB Photo via Getty Images

About This Photo Of A Baby Weasel Flying On A Woodpecker...

Woodpecker Weasel
Martin Le-May

More Green
Koch Brothers.. Pollution Fight.. Doggie Duo.. Eiffel Tower.. Chris Christie Deal.. Arctic Oil.. Flying Animal

Baby Tortoises Born On Galapagos For The First Time In A Century

Pinzon Tortoise