The Party of Winkin'

01/18/2006 04:31 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Republicans are not upset 'cause they think "plantation" is a four-letter word. They are terrified at the thought of democrats learning to wink.

For the last few election cycles Republicans have been the party of Winkin'. They have been batting democrats about their heads with eyelashes. The president says, "Harriet Meyers, I know her heart." (Wink, wink) Sam Alito says "I'll keep an open mind on abortion." (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge Know what I mean? Say no more!)

Winks are great because everybody knows what you mean but nobody can prove it. Hillary Clinton's political opponents scream like scalded chickens that she's playing a "race" card. She can say with a completely straight face, "What? Plantation? I'm talking about drastically inequitable power relations and structural injustice. I didn't say a WORD about race. Why are you bringing it up?"

Hillary's effective use of the "P" word could be the beginning of a Washington wink war. A new era of surreptitious clarity could sweep the land.

But if Republicans are gonna lose their cool every time a democrat winks, come November they could end up losing... you know what I mean.