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Love Freedom? Kill Your iPad

Posted: 04/05/10 01:37 PM ET

I'll admit to feeling a certain thrill last week when, tucked in to a back table at a grimy pizza place--a table so secluded, in fact, that the kitchen guy would eventually kick me out so he could scarf down a slice--I pulled a friend's loaner iPad from its box a few days ahead of the launch date and pressed the ON button.

Part of the thrill was doing this before most everyone else. The other part was simple novelty, which, let's face it, is a pretty routine thrill these days. Between Avatar, health care and now the iPad, it feels as if every day's Christmas. Which means every day's also the day after Christmas, when the excitement begins to fade and we start turning over the seat cushions looking for the next bump of consumerist woo-woo dust.

I will admit, the iPad might well turn out to be the greatest toy ever. But I hate it and all that it stands for, and I desperately hope it goes the way of the Newton. Why? Because it represents the final and most convincing piece of evidence yet of what I--a committed Mac fan who wouldn't buy a PC if it offered to rub my feet--have long feared: that when Jobs named his scrappy little computer company after Satan's forbidden fruit, he meant it as a compliment.

The difference is that Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden for their fateful snack, whereas we're all about to be trapped in iTunes' walled Garden forever (albeit without the nudity that made Paradise so great in the first place).

For all the nightmare scenarios about Google, it's now become evident that cheerfully rebellious underdog Apple may actually be the Corporate Beast to fear. Clearly Steve Jobs is a world class control freak, which is fine if you work at Apple or hold stock in the company or don't like changing batteries. He's also a visionary, after all. But recent controversies surrounding the iTunes App Store demonstrate that his megalomania could actually have profoundly negative consequences for our culture. Cory Doctorow nailed some of the problem, essentially making the open-source argument: The iPad isn't hackable. It's not democratic. It's for dummies and cultural Pringles-eaters who just want to sit back and take in stuff, not for creators and innovators who want to change the world or make lolcats, as the mood strikes.

Which is true. Walt Mossberg, David Pogue and everyone else also noted in their reviews that the iPad is a device better suited for consuming than creating (which is why you also have an iMac). But it's in precisely that respect--the way it brings users content--that the thing is actually so odious. Because Apple's ironclad control over what's available in the App Store means that the iPad's success (which is predicated not on sales of the probably underpriced device but of apps and other iStore content) is inversely proportional to our continued cultural freedom.

Unfortunately, the prime example is a ludicrous app called "Wobble iBoobs (Premium Uncensored)," which is a shame because nobody wants to be the idiot defending a program that showcases jiggling breasts, especially at a moment when everyone else is hyperventilating about a game-changing technological revolution that seems really cool. But here's what happened: After receiving unspecified "customer complaints" about iBoobs a few months ago, Apple banished it altogether, explaining in a letter to the developer that "We have decided to remove any overtly sexual content from the App Store."

Whaa? What's "overt sexual content"? And who's we? It's a pretty radical notion considering that such content is not only legal, but all over TV, the internet, the multiplex, your Aunt Ethel's diary and everywhere else you care to look for it. (Believe me, I've checked.)

The decision, which affected a number of other steamy apps, caused some consternation among developers--mostly because it reflected a sudden change in Apple's policy and cost the creators' money, since they'd been banking on revenue from apps that were no longer sellable. But I'm surprised by how little attention it's received from the media, who seem to be too busy racing to create their own apps for the iPad to read Apple's "Developer Program License Agreement," a copy of which, obtained via a Freedom of Information Request (since government agencies had agreed to it), has been posted online by the Electronic Frontier Foundation. It makes for some scary reading, especially the part that says, "You understand and agree that Apple may cease distribution of Your Licensed Application(s) and/or Licensed Application Information or revoke the digital certificate of any of Your Applications at any time." And as the EFF further points out, Apple has installed a line of code called a "kill switch" in the iPhone and presumably the iPad, allowing the company to remotely disable any apps they deem inappropriate, even after you've purchased them.

Think about it: Our great new device for consuming media content is designed to work via third-party apps. Apple maintains the exclusive right to sell these apps, or not to, based on corporate fiat. And one reason the company has given for deep-sixing an app is that someone complained about similar material. You need only consider the implications of this for a second to realize that buying into the Apple model is media suicide. Operate a public library that way, and you'll have the ACLU crawling so far up your ass you'll spit binder clips. I mean, leaving aside the giddiness of the iPad launch, here's what we're talking about: A corporate entity has invented a device for consuming content and wields total, secret and capricious control over exactly what content consumers can use it for. Imagine for a second if Gutenberg pulled a move like that. Bye bye, Enlightenment.

It was also recently reported that Apple asked the German tabloid Bild (which has the second most popular news site in Germany) to remove naked women from its "Shake the Bild Girl" app, the point of which is apparently to let users undress the "girl of the day" by shaking their phones. Yes, it's another sophomoric app that's nearly impossible to defend! But when you consider that many newspapers around the world feature such cheesecake shots (including News Corp's The Sun), and that newspapers are struggling to stay in business, and that Bild's revenue (which funds the company's news gathering) will obviously take a hit due to Apple's decision, it's not hard to see what a Devil's bargain the device is. True, there's always the internet, and the iPad will indeed let you access it. But so far internet ad revenue is not making up for lost newsstand sales. And Apple's business plan--the would-be savior of the publishing industry--presupposes that users will increasingly consume content not through the internet but via the App Store, allowing the company not merely to take a healthy cut of the revenue but to decide what everyone can purchase. Come to think of it, that's exactly what the Chinese government is doing, except that the Chinese censors aren't making any money from the deal and aren't being swooned over by the same media they've set out to police.

Maybe you don't want to look at naked people at all. Fine, be that way. But to liberally paraphrase a famous poem about the Holocaust: First they came for the Wobble iBoobs app, and I didn't speak up because I don't have the Wobble iBoobs app...

The equation is pretty simple: Buy an iPad, and you're endorsing this model--giving a privately controlled corporation top-down, unilateral power over what you can see, read, watch, play and jiggle. It's quite literally the opposite of the marketplace of ideas that is the cornerstone of democracy. Google's approach to total global domination is looking better every second.

Am I overstating it? Maybe. After all, we have all those aforementioned platforms: TV, multiplex, CDs, pamplets, etc. But remember: Just about every media company right now is in survival mode, so every time we make a choice to, say, read a magazine via an iTunes app rather than purchasing it at the newsstand, we're forcing a publisher to play by Apple's arbitrary and secretive rules. It's already been noted that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (with which, again, the magazine makes a ton of revenue that helps funds the rest of its operations) features what could easily be considered "overt sexual content" (ask an eighth grader if you're not sure). There's no doubt that certain publishers, fearful of running afoul of Apple's censors, will begin making editorial choices based on the company's vague criteria, in much the same way Wal-Mart strong-arms its suppliers. Given that the current media land-grab will determine what content is produced for decades to come, anyone who cares about such things should think twice about buying an iPad. Or if you've bought one, figure out how to hack it so you can use outside apps. It's the American way.

Look, some of my best devices are Macs. I've been a fan for 25 years, ever since they ran that famous Superbowl commercial promising that, thanks to the introduction of Macintosh, "1984 won't be like 1984." We all remember the jackbooted thugs, the zombified drones in their gray pajamas, the slo-mo Olympian in a tanktop hurling a hammer at the giant TV. And who can forget the Big Brother-like dictator, intoning about "Information Purification Directives" and bragging about having created "a garden of pure ideology...where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths." You remember, right Steve?

 
 
 
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12:21 AM on 05/21/2010
I've been an Apple loyalist since the Apple II days. Still, there is an old cowboy proverb which applies to the lockdown on the ipad, "There was never a horse that couldn't be rode, there was never a cowboy that couldn't be throwed." Grammar aside, it tells us that the ipad will be hacked and freed, and there will be apps running on it, not sanctioned by Apple. Jobs is an old-line hacker himself. He has to know this. The iphone was set free before the hype had quieted down. For all I know the ipad may also. In general, mac users are early technology adopters, and somehow Jobs is trying to capitolize on this. In the long run, there will be other tablets which will give the ipad competition. Calm down, everyone.
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07:48 PM on 04/06/2010
"we're all about to be trapped in iTunes' walled Garden forever"

This is pretty pathetic. I think the author needs to get out more and see the world. 95% of the world could care less about Apple or the iPad.
07:24 PM on 04/06/2010
Wolf! WOLF!!!! I thought I'd try it since the author enjoys it. Is this a parody piece? Explain how a company that has a 10% share of the computer market is going to control everything you see and think, become Big Brother, and save the entire media industry all with this 9.5 by 7.5 inch package.
The author has committed the ultimate sin of the intellectually bankrupt by evoking the Holocaust. This is all histrionic BS blown out of proportion and removed from reality. This piece also lacks internal logic consistency: "Because Apple's ironclad control over what's available in the App Store means that the iPad's success (which is predicated not on sales of the probably underpriced device but of apps and other iStore content) is inversely proportional to our continued cultural freedom." So Apple's plan for world domination and massive profits is to censor apps thereby reducing Apple's own revenue stream. Does that make sense to anyone?
The author's basic premise seems to be that the iPad exists in some media content providing vacuum; otherwise how can it have such a drastic effect on the very fabric of our society. Here's a reality check, if you don't like the new iNazi from Apple, don't buy it. I doubt Steve Jobs is going to goose step over to your place in his jack boots and force one into your hand. Maybe the sky isn't falling after all Chicken Little.
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Jay Swaminathan
06:39 PM on 04/06/2010
i think the author is pissed off as he cant get porn on his iPad :)
dude just get the HP slate to satisfy all your multi touch urges :)
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06:14 AM on 04/07/2010
And the slate will even let you look at the porn while you listen to music.
05:01 PM on 04/06/2010
So basically Apple has adopted the Walmart business model: do as we say and pay us what we demand or go f**k yourself and have a nice life selling nothing in obscurity.

To those who agree with Apple's model, and agree they should keep 'questionable material' out of their 'store,' then what's with all the f**king violent kill-em-all games they sell to kids?

Still, in America, in 2010, we're doing the 'sex is BAD but violence is GOOD' bullshit?

Hey, Apple, guess what? Consumers who don't want to see tits DON'T HAVE TO BUY TIT APPS. Why do you think it's your responsibility to protect the rest of the world from things you decide it needs protecting from? The world can make it's own choices, thank you very much.

Now, keep the sex apps or drop the violence apps, but stop with the Daddy Knows Best hypocritical bullshit...
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maurilius
06:03 PM on 04/06/2010
Well, if you don't like it, go by the Windows based alternative. NOBODY WANTS APPLE RELATED STUFF TO LOOK LIKE AOL OR YAHOO SITES, crowded with c.r.a.p. Plus, I have young daughters. I love the fact that I can let them have my phone and not worry (as much).
04:46 PM on 04/06/2010
Geez, you're an idiot! The iPad is the end of the world and it's for "takers"? Get over yourself!

And by the way, nowhere in the bible or even in Jewish lore is the fruit consumed by Adam and Eve EVER said to be an apple! The fruit is not named at all. Scholars speculate it was a pomengranate. But that's nothing but speculation. It's just fruit. The point of the story was not an apple, it didn't matter.

I am greatly offended by the demonizing of the innocent apple and by your wild fear of the iPad!

But if you were just looking to right something controversial — sure. Except it's dumb. Unlike the iPad.
03:00 PM on 04/06/2010
Awesome article
02:30 PM on 04/06/2010
Glad you mentioned the "1984" ad. Quick - who does that Big Brother character look most like - Steve Jobs, no?
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Mister Biggles
06:59 AM on 04/06/2010
I agree with this 100%.

My iPhone is great, I do love it. My brother's new Google phone is BETTER and he doesn't have to sell his soul to Big Brother to get it.

I prefer PC's over Macs for this very reason.

Yeah, it crashes and it has viruses, etc. but guess what....I get to go out into the real world and not sit behind the walls of my posh gated community.

I get almost ALL of my software for free.

From now on, I'll allow Apple to innovate and buy the best knockoffs.
02:32 PM on 04/06/2010
And of course you can run Ubuntu Linux or a dozen other OS's on PC's to get around the virus problem. And make use of Open Source programs, such as Firefox.
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maurilius
06:05 PM on 04/06/2010
You mean you get almost ALL of your poorly designed/programmed software for free.
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Mister Biggles
07:26 PM on 04/06/2010
I own a Mac, too.

I like Window's "design" much better than the Mac OS. I do not find it intuitive in any way. And unless I'm editing video, I prefer to use the PC and it's "poorly" designed software for most every other task, because I find it preferable to the Mac's software for the same tasks.
07:35 PM on 04/05/2010
We have not been this excited about a device since the launch of the 128K Mac in back in 1984.

The discussions today around "Why an iPad" reminded us of trying to explain to all the IBM PC-DOS folks of what a GUI was and why it was better. They would keep saying..."why would anyone want a mouse? Our arrow keys work just fine for moving the cursor up and down lines of text."

A little more than 25 years later, we find the same type of folks asking, "Who would want to use their fingers? My mouse and keyboard work just fine."

Sometimes, all one can do is just smile and wait for everybody else to catch up.

While it is often quoted that Windows has 95% of the market. That is all fine. However, at this moment, AAPL's market cap is $215.09B and MSFT's is $257.24B. Hmmm....

The Apple iPad is here. It is going to be the most talked about gadget ever and the enthusiasm is completely justified.

The "sunsetting" of the mouse/pointer interface has started. The mouse/pointer paradigm is over twenty years old. Multi-touch for the masses has arrived and it is about time.

With the introduction of the iPad Apple has made accessible an entirely new way to interact with not only a computer but information itself.

For more of our "views"...go check out:
www.rainydaymagazine.com
02:34 PM on 04/06/2010
Of course, if you produce software, you still use command lines regularly.
03:09 PM on 04/06/2010
And if you want to get the largest possible amount of work done in the shortest amount of time, you use the command line.

GUI's have their place, but it is a huge mistake to think that they are faster or more efficient for all tasks. There are many, many things I do with my computer on a daily basis that I can accomplish in about 5 seconds at the command line that may take minutes, or even hours, to do through the GUI.
07:41 PM on 04/06/2010
Your right Apple is king of the roost but you have to remember Apple was in a similar position 25 years ago; and unfortunately it doesn't appear that they learned anything. The absence of flash is just a symptom of a larger problem at planet apple. Instead of embracing innovation from the programming community they shun it. Don't forget that apple didn't create the idea of third party apps, it was an underground community of hackers that unlocked the true potential of apple's little diamond in the rough. And if these innovators feel there is a better platform that allows them more freedom to experiment(Android) then they will put their creative energies behind that and apple will be back at square one competing against every other electronics manufacturer for a small piece of the pie. In regards to the Market Cap point, Apple makes a lot of money on music, videos, and Iphones. They're still pretty small in the computer world, like 7%.
06:30 PM on 04/05/2010
First the lack of Flash is a FAIL! for the iDevices. "Can't watch video!" If you produce video and want to reach the 75 million iDevice users, you create an app to deliver your video as YouTube, CNN, NY Times, etc. have done.

Now Apple rejecting "sexual" apps will be the end to free speech. "What about the revolutionaries!" If you want to deliver "sexual" content to the 75 million iDevice users, you create a web page that delivers your video as the porn sites have done.

Until Apple puts mandatory content filters in the iDevice web browsers, I think the "sexual", counter-revolutionary and just plain edgy content providers will still be able to reach the 75 million iDevice users.
03:19 AM on 04/06/2010
We've been using quick time for over a decade to deliver high quality online video.

Try to keep up with the class.
01:51 PM on 04/06/2010
Quicktime su_c_ks, for the record.

Go ahead and keep up with the class, if you must. Be a good little sheep. Don't step out of line. Therrrreee ya go. Therrrreee's the good little boy.
04:34 PM on 04/06/2010
Since you obviously didn't read the whole article, let me do a little recap for your comment.

"...every media company right now is in survival mode, so every time we make a choice to, say, read a magazine via an iTunes app rather than purchasing it at the newsstand, we're forcing a publisher to play by Apple's arbitrary and secretive rules..."

"...There's no doubt that certain publishers, fearful of running afoul of Apple's censors, will begin making editorial choices based on the company's vague criteria..."

"...The equation is pretty simple: Buy an iPad, and you're endorsing this model--giving a privately controlled corporation top-down, unilateral power over what you can see, read, watch, play and jiggle..."
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maurilius
06:09 PM on 04/06/2010
Good. I really like Steve Job's outlook on the world. I'll follow his lead.

And, you are overstating a bit. Apple has every right to control their "eco-system." If you don't like it, go by the Windows based alternative (biting knuckle).
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joelaf
My micro bio is half full.
04:56 PM on 04/05/2010
Part of the reason I don't want an iPad, or any other device right now is hype. Dec/Jan/Feb was a constant onslaught of new shiny things, either imminent or due in the Spring. Each one had upsides and downsides; price, design,etc. Right now, I have anticipated buyer's remorse. Whatever I buy will be superseded by late Summer, or early next year, or it will be half price by then. The most attractive lot for me are the one's branded crapgadgets by most.
04:31 PM on 04/05/2010
Prediction: Within 3 years there will be a tablet PC, manufactured by someone other than apple. Someone will write an iPad OS emulator, allowing you access to the App Store, and all the abilities of an iPad, in addition to the abilities of an actual PC. Apple will sue.

What happens next will determine the future of computing.

We are headed for a huge cultural battle over DRM, digital control of media, emulation, and proprietary ownership of culture. It's going to get very very ugly in a few years.
03:21 AM on 04/06/2010
People need to stop stealing online.
03:10 PM on 04/06/2010
Emulation isn't theft.
04:06 PM on 04/05/2010
He sums it up right at the end, Apple has come full circle from hippie induced freedom creativity machine to corporate bigotry market domination.

They now are that :
Big Brother-like dictator, intoning about "Information Purification Directives"

iRony
04:01 PM on 04/05/2010
Some reasonable stuff in here, but when I read this line--

The iPad isn't hackable. It's not democratic. It's for dummies and cultural Pringles-eaters who just want to sit back and take in stuff, not for creators and innovators who want to change the world

--the only thing I could think was, gee, that sounds a lot like a book!

And we all remember how books destroyed civilization...
lightnessandjoy
Is micro-bio a new disease?
04:14 PM on 04/05/2010
Wrong. Nobody's deciding what books you can and cannot read, but Apple is.
04:22 PM on 04/05/2010
I don't like that either, but the analogy there would be the bookstore or library censoring (which always makes me long for a torch or a pitchfork), I just meant that a book is all of those things--unhackable, undemocratic etc., since you can't very well change its contents or use it to create--more a gripe about sloppy writing than disagreement with the article.

The Moby Dick censorship article combined with this one definitely make me nervous about the iPad. Wait and see mode.
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huffponewbie
09:36 AM on 04/06/2010
There are people who decide what books you can read and how you read them. As an Anglo-Saxonist I know a bit about translating old texts. We, translators, decide what to translate and how to do it. There are often many options in translating and you the reader become subject to our decisions. Not knowing the language eliminates your ability to be creative, in fact in reading, say, a translation of Beowolf, you are really just, sitting back and taking stuff in. The author's logic would make you a dummy for this. Not I. Some know Old English and produce translations that bring content to those that don't and some know computers and bring products to those that don't.
04:23 PM on 04/05/2010
Your analogy is rather inapt for the context.

The iPad is perhaps more analagous to a pair of eyes that can be turned off if you start looking in places the manufacterer of your eyes doesn't want you to. The books are the content, the iPad the vehicle for that content.

You can share books, trade them to friends, write in the margins, etc. You can do none of those things with an eBook on an iPad.