My half-assed Google search reveals that either Gandhi or Churchill or the Pope said, "The measure of a nation is how it treats the least among its weakest children...or animals or unborn prisoners." The exact quote is fuzzy precisely because it's so popular. Really, it's a slut of a quote, turned out equally by vegans and pro-lifers. Well, I disagree with Gandhi or Churchill or the Pope on this. To all those who want to measure themselves not from the tip, but from the taint, I gotta say, that's not how to do it at all. The true measure of a society is how likely it is to produce a female orgasm.
Think about it. In order to get consistent female orgasms I find you need a whole lot of things. You need health care. You need rule of law. You need literacy, a strong infrastructure and a free but restrained media. You need good science, childcare, a decent workweek, fair wages, nutrition, diversity, prison reform, religious tolerance, gun control and a free and uninterrupted thirty to forty-five minutes.
Yeah, I know, fascism and upheaval can produce some pretty good rolls in the hay. I had a Russian teacher who liked to tell the class that the revolution "smyelled like syex, darlinks." Theocracy can be pretty sexy too, if you like things rough and ecstatic. But these forms of governance, like all kink, only work for a little while. At some point you've got to take the ball gag out of your mouth and have a grown up society.
I also want to stress that I'm talking about quality, not quantity. Quantity sex, the domain of the male orgasm, is no friend of liberalism. It is an indisputable statistical fact that most of the nation's humping goes on in red states. Orgies and wife swapping flourish most on the periphery of conservative communities. Yes, Hollywood talks a good game, but uglies bump the most not where Darwin fish waddle across Prius bumpers, but where American flag lapel pins fly. Why? Because in red state America there ain't nothing else to do. Meanwhile, in the blue states there's saving the environment, reading of Ayn Rand, flitting from belief system to belief system. If you're not expected to save yourself for your husband (who usually turns out to be the dork who just happened to be around when the abstinence dam broke) you will waste valuable scrogging time on education, career, and the treacherous game of choosing and un-choosing a mate.
No, quantity is the conservative man's boon. And make no mistake; male satisfaction has a negative correlation to societal health. The male orgasm doesn't even want an agrarian economy. It thrives on anarchy, bedlam and oppression -- and then it rolls over and goes to sleep. Who wants that? The polity is best served by the intricate and clumsy groping towards the pleasure of the middle-aged, liberated woman. It's l ate. The kids just went to bed, you're rinsing out the tubing for your apnea machine, and she's watching The Daily Show on Tivo. Is your society going to bring the goods? Is it? Huh? It would almost be easier to end homelessness, but she's waiting. This situation calls for a big, thriving liberal democracy.