Spring has sprung, which means many people will be packing up to go camping in the coming weeks. I will not be one of them, as I do not camp.
Don't get me wrong. I love the outdoors and worship the sun and nature. And while I'm not high-maintenance, I don't find appeal in sleeping on the ground in a tent pretending I'm homeless.
But despite the tent aversion, I do have a bit of camping experience.
When I was younger we had a trailer up north that we spent a good deal of time at in the summer. It was a decent sized rig with a shower, small kitchen, deck, etc., but it was still a trailer.
I fished, shot my bow and arrow (not at anything living, at least not on purpose,) tore around on the 4-wheeler and hit the lake with the inflatable alligator before coming back to nighttime campfires, Cribbage games and attempts to attract bats by throwing random crap up in the air by the park lights.
I was young, and other than the fact that I rolled out of the top bunk of triple bunk beds -- a bed rail was quickly installed -- I had no real complaints. Now that I'm older and debatably wiser, I would have many complaints, which is why I don't even attempt to pretend to want to camp.
Why someone would want to leave indoor plumbing and decent food and increase the likelihood of contracting mosquito malaria, dirt-covered food and being attacked by a baby deer in the woods is beyond me.*
*Of course, to each their own (disclaimer so campers don't get pissed, although if they're camping, they shouldn't have access to Wi-Fi.)
But for those who enjoy camping and would like to recreate this experience at home, I have a few suggestions:
- Hang your clothes over a wood fire to get that signature smell, the one that will hopefully cover up the other signature smell of musty dampness.
So for those of you starting your camping season soon, may the force be with you. I plan on working in the yard a bit, reading and enjoying the luxury of warm showers, good food I didn't have to catch and a few good baseball games.
I love not camping.