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Manzie Report -- The Men's Shows from Paris & Milan

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It has been a while since the last round of European men's shows where we first met The Manzie. You newcomers need to be brought up to speed. What is a Manzie? (pronounced man - zee), hence, What is a Manzie Report?

At last season's men's fashion shows in Europe, the overarching trend was something that I hadn't seen in quite some time, actually ever. I came up with the term Manzie to capture the moment. A Manzie is not a Dandy, nor is he a Pansy, hence the revised spelling. A Pansy doesn't necessarily need to dress effeminately in order to be called a Pansy by a bunch of blokes. They just need to have a sisssing "S" in their speech or run with their arms flailing during gym. A Dandy, on the other hand, (like Patrick MacDonald) is someone who embraces high-fashion and the avant garde, which transcends the current styling trend of "quirky man", featuring the "quirky man-hat" (click here). In essence, a Manzie can be a straight man trying too hard to be stylish or a "straight-acting gay guy" that thinks by acting butch, it will compensate for the bad "quirky man-hat" and other bad Manzie fashion choices. Here to better define this term are images that will clarify things.

MILAN DAY 1

Get a load of these fur knickers from Gianfranco Ferre. Now, come on. Coupled with a military jacket they are still ridic. Period.

Just in case you were wondering if the fur harem pants came with a top...think no more. Shown here in the most clumsy awkful way. It's inspired by Michelle Obama high waist belting...which doesn't always work with her either.

Is it me or is there a bit of a androgynous lesbian thing going on here. And are those leather belt bottoms? Who is going to buy those? Not even a lesbian.

Yes guys, this is the look for when you go to the Dykes on Bikes meetings.

Muccia Prada has to throw in a few Manzie looks or else she is not happy. I'm totally not feeling is Little Lord Fauntleroy-inspired collar.

At whatever length, car coat, jacket, gown...the collar is a fotz. And here the color is too.

Feel free to disagree with me. The overall collection was good...but these pieces are complete throw-aways. Nice bowl cut, by the way.

Vivienne Westwood never disappoints. At (what seemed like) earthquake dusted men, this was the uber Manzie opening of the show. The orange shoes give the look that je nais se quoi.

The Chewbacca headgear is the perfect cold weather accessory.

I am sure the boys on Rikers Island will be happy to know they served as an inspiration to the incomparable Vivienne Westood.

Nice outfit. If this is the last outfit on Earth...I would sooner walk around naked.

MILAN DAY 2

Overall, the men's collections in Milan are pretty great. Sifting through all the images to mine for Manzies was not quite as easy as last spring. Somehow I would like to go out on a limb and take some credit, that my Manzie Reports impacted some of the designers. Seems like many of them worked overtime to avoid making Manzie Faux Pas, for fear of being included in the Manzie Reports. What I can say about Fall 10 is that there's much ado about nothing special, since quite a few collections played it really safe. Perhaps it is a no win situation, where you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. But, either way you slice it...I found some more doozies and herewith...Manzies Marching On. (Click on the red Manzie hyperlinks for last season's Manzie Reports.)

Clearly Thom Browne read the Manzie Report. The Moncler collection was really good but like Muccia Prada, Thom can't help himself by throwing in a few outfits that no one with buy like this Little Lord Fauntleroy two-piece ski set with fur hat.

Well, the good news about this outfit is that if you get lost on the slopes, the helicopter rescue squad with find you lickety split.

And your girlfriend can borrow this outfit.

Last night, I was talking to a stylist about Alexander McQueen and his various challenges. If I wanted to look like a snake, I'd be a snake.

Nothing like a boxy, crop top to layer on top of a suit.

Or a mini-fitted rain slicker as a layer. Sure to be a big seller...not.

Lurch on the runway wearing an unflattering rain slicker.

What the eunuch will wear this fall.

Are eunuchs the new Manzies? Donatella Versace has something for everybody.

Clearly eunuchs or Klaus Nomi are in vogue come fall.

Etro opened their collection with this total ridiculousness, complete with woobie.

The Etro homage to Flavor Flav is sure to be the must-have accessory of the season. And the quirky man hat lives on.

I have never been a fan of the quilted coat for men, especially when accessorized with a quirky man hat. And when Bernie Madoff was accosted in front of his home by the paparazzi wearing the tradtional Burberry quilted car coat, I knew then that it was really a must-NOT-have.

How do you take a perfectly butch model and fem him up? Ask Etro.

The little birdie on Kean Etro's shoulder told him to do that. Fotz.

John Richmond is one of those collections that I have seen either at 10 Corso Como or Century 21. What is this?

Loud...unflattering...yikes.

Quilted for days.

Marc Jacobs has been championing the man-skirt and when he does it, you can almost buy into it. But Giuliano Fujiwara's pleated, maxi-skirt will never fly...on men anyway.

This outfit is perfect for Michelle Obama.

Here's a perfect example of layering that will not...in a million years...work.

Baubles for days. Oh, and nice coif.

PARIS DAY 1

Before I start on Paris, I was not letting this Adam Lambert tragedy go by unnoticed from D Squared. Now that Dan and Dean have been camped out in Bravo TV Reality World, they have lost touch with reality. Yowza McGee.

Yes, there is a definite shift in the air since Spring, when nelly, prissy, fembots ruled the men's runways. There is a butcher tone overall, but Lord knows not exclusively, as that would render me out of business. Surprisingly, Junya Wantanabe, Viktor and Rolf, and even Gaspard Yurkievich all had smart showings. It's not like I am disappointed that I can't find what to poke fun at, I would frankly rather not have ever started this Manzie business. I am a bit Pollyanna in that I want every designer to do well. Rather than leave a hole for yet another celebrity to come swooping in with their prefab nonsense. I do, however want to make a prediction....and people...this is plenty scary. We have not yet seen the plethora of male celebrities dragging their sorry asses into the fashion business. Yes, we have had little snippets like Pete Wentz, Sean P. Diddy Combs and Donald Trump...yikes. But I am talking about a barrage, similar to that of the list of endless Last Five Minutes of Fame actresses who have stormed the runways and literally scared the bejesus out of me with their unending "talent" for saying, "Oh, that's pretty". Anyway...I had to throw that in there because what is good for the goose (actress/singer) is good for the gander (actor/singer). Let it be noted that on Friday, January 22, I made this statement. Hopefully I am all sorts of wrong.

Now, onto the topic at hand...Parisian Men's Silliness. And there was surely some to be found in Paris.

You gotta give Rick Owens credit for trying to pull off a Michelle Obama look.

Really? Who's gonna wear this, and to where?

The grabbed the bed-sheet look was sooo a few seasons ago from Viktor and Rolf, for women, and that was fotz, too.

And what's with making your models look like they are Lesbian Hobbits from Middle Earth. Yikes.

I know, Adam Kimmel is the darling of Colette. His Marlboro Man knock off from Spring was all the rage. Yawn. But, this Halloween costumer is so pretentious that who can be bothered with someone so hell bent on 'catch me, catch me' in their presentation. Fotz.

Honey, this barely worked in the 70's, unless of course you lived in Upper Suburbia, and when we look back at old photos of our parents, it is with shock, not, "Wow, dad, you were so cool".

Like we needed Adam Kimmel to come out with a must-have Mom Jean? The darling of Collete? I mean...what?!?

What is that, the cape to wear to the opera or to cover the Crap Table. It's crap alright.

Alexis Mabille really knows his Little Lord Fauntleroy when he sees him. And (B) no one is going to layer the shorts on top of the leggings. Not even women, really.

If were that model, I would be annoyed. Granted the Mabille palette was really good...but...like Muccia...

It's nice to see that the Upper East Side Decorator (dreck-orator as my mother used to say) is being considered this season.

Like the world was waiting for Alexis Mabille underwear? I give up. He's another one of these darlings.

OK...I'll wear that...not.

Overall Issey Miyake had another good collection...but hey...what's fashion week with out a little fembot meets quirky man hat.

Even the model looks sad that he had to wear this.

This outfit is wrong for several reasons, most of them obvious.

This is taken from the Sportswear International Whos' Who - Fashion Yearbook.

PARIS DAY 2

As mentioned the other day, my whole thing is not to revel in the fact that some runway looks fall under the umbrella of the Manzie Report. I am a loyal fashion follower and love when there's nothing but good news to report. Naturally, that will never be the case, because designers love getting in the way of themselves or taking themselves too seriously. Hence, I have etched a place in the fashion reporting pantheon and thoroughly revel in the fact that Sportswear International has dubbed me as one of the 5 Top Fashion Bloggers.

Blaak wants to be the new black...but, I think they should not hold their breath.

I know, the big story is season-less dressing. But there is no season for this look. Not for men anyway.

Even the warmer layer won't warm you up with all the peek-a-boo nonsense.

Snooki from Jersey Shore might wear the glitter bike shorts, but that's about it.

This Comme des Garcons number is like the Abominable Snowman meets Little House on the Prairie.

I get it, the winter culotte by Comme des Garcons.

This styling suggestion suggests all sorts of ridiculousness.

I love John Galliano, and I love him even more for trying to make the man girdle as acceptable fashion...with enlarged cod piece.

I love and would totally wear this girdle as vest...ish.

I loved the collection overall, but you gotta love John's need to throw these looks in...because he can.

If Givenchy insists that men wear leggings, (A) I'll be a monkey's uncle and (B) My nephew, David Lerner (DL Collection), will surely be happy to add a men's group to his current collection. Listen up, boy.

I am a long time fan of black and navy together...except here. I just don't see the shorts layer over leggings thing...do you? With mandels no less?

Violence was in the house at Jean Paul Gaultier. Yes, there were great pieces, but the Fight Club motif was a bit obvious.

Whatever.

And this kids Halloween costume that you can buy at Ricky's was totally ridiculous.

The urban sombrero was alive and well at Junn.J...who?

Every look had either the Urban Sombrero or...

The Mata Hari.

PARIS DAY 3

The biggest news after looking at the Fall '10 Men's Shows is Grey is the New Black. Period. Sure, black was all over the runway, too, and should always be a staple in everyone's wardrobe. I don't care (and nor should anyone) when the editors scream for "Color, Color, Color" like they did last season. Let all those editors walk around in horrendous shades of blue and orange (Gina Lollobrigida orange, to be exact) and leave the humans to wear what makes them look good, namely, black and/or grey. Now we have a whole new meaning to grey. Your job is to to look through your wardrobe, edit out anything that is not black and fill in with key pieces that are grey; be it a trench, suit, sweaters, shirts, ties, socks, scarves umbrella, shoes, hats, have I left any category out? Oh yeah, and if you can find heather grey underwear, knock yourself out. Blue is sooo last season and the sherbet colors that you ran to buy "just to spice things up", are dead in the water. This could be a great season for retail frankly, if everyone does what I just said and runs out to buy several new pieces for their wardrobe. I have been saying for days that it was as though my last season's Manzie Reports really hit home to many designers and there were beautiful collections a plenty. The ones that I trashed last season (and for good reason) put out staid, sexy collections (yes, with lots of grey) and I couldn't even find one Manzie outfit is some of them. So, I am happy to say that 2010 is looking bright, thanks to all the grey flying about. Anyhoo...here to round out the Paris shows are the few doozies of note.

Ann Demeulemeester was struck by the D Squared-Adam Lambert bug. It started slow...shown here, with just a hint of Macaw.

Then, like the movie, Hitchcock's The Birds, they began to cluster, more and more. Scary.

And besides the birds, there was a sort of pirate thing going on...which would make sense with the birds thing.

But, then again, there were these "damn, filthy, stinkin', rotten boiyds". (Quote from The Producers.)

All that was missing was Tippi Hedren in the front row.

Raf Simons got the grey memo, only as wardrobe items go, do not add this to your list. Anyway, I prefer the Galliano man girdle.

Burgundy is a tough color and never retails out, but this outfit might even look good in all black...or dark grey.

And this striped skirt almost works too.

Boris Bidjan Saveri is "becoming a household name" according to WWD. In who's house...Count Chocula?

Not sure that making your models look lesbian chic is the ticket for menswear.

Rick Owens might be the home of which WWD speaks. This updated men's burka is right up Owens' alley.

Until New York Fashion Week...visit: I MEAN...WHAT?!?