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Losing Lives in Iraq and Billions at Ford: Spooky Parallels

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In reading the press accounts of Ford's Expedition-sized loss of $12.7 billion, the similarities between Detroit and Baghdad -- and between Ford's Chairman William Clay Ford, and the U.S. Chairman George W. Bush -- are too eerie to remain uncommented upon:

• Both are examples of dynastic incompetence and a diminishing gene pool. By comparison, Edsel and Bush I are towering figures of accomplishment.

• Mr. Ford's turnaround slogan for rescuing his company was "The Way Forward." The ever-imaginative Bush introduced "The New Way Forward" to describe his plan for turning things around in Iraq.

• Both are masters of the embarrassing over-promise. A scant ten months ago, Mr. Ford asserted that his company would "emerge stronger than we've been before." In May 2003, President Bush stood on the USS Lincoln and declared "Mission accomplished."

• Mr. Ford is being defeated by the Shinto, Mr. Bush by the Sunis and Shias.

• Mr. Ford has helped cause the economic devastation in Detroit; Mr. Bush is doing the same in Baghdad.

• President Bush was engaged to a Jew named Cathryn Lee Wolfman; Mr. Ford's grandfather hired Pinkertons to beat up people named Wolfman.

• Bill Ford graduated from Princeton and has an MBA from MIT. President Bush graduated from Yale and has an MBA from Harvard. All of these formerly-prestigious institutions have since reviewed and changed their acceptance policies.

• Bill is a student of Zen and Tibetan Buddhism; President Bush once got a Buddha as a gift from the President of Thailand, and nicknamed him "Little Hindoofus."

On the other hand:

• Bill Ford is the great-grandson of Harvey Firestone. President Bush has no relationship to Harvey Fierstein.