With Penn State students protesting and rioting over the firing of football coach Joe Paterno, who participated in the cover-up of a serial child molester who happened to be his defensive coordinator, many have wondered what those students could possibly be thinking. With that in mind, we here at Funny or Die decided to do some research to find the six dumbest protests ever.
6. The Charles Manson Riots
Music fans protested the jailing of Charles Manson because he (to quote them) "had some more good tunes in him." It's a fact, Charles Manson was a singer-songwriter who tried to sell his songs to The Beach Boys. When he was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder and multiple counts of murder, some music fans were bummed because they felt he had just hit his songwriting stride before acid and horrific murder distracted him. Ted Reynolds, an employee at a Coconuts record store, said, "How do we know he didn't have a 'Good Vibrations' in him? Now we'll never know 'cause of that other legal junk... Someday they're going to invent the cassette tape, and those future mix tapes will suffer from this short-sighted legal decision."
5. McRib Fans Protest Removal of McRib from McDonald's Menu
Thousands of McRib fans took to the streets when the sandwich was removed from the menu. McDonald's restaurants were stormed and cars (and even an 18-wheeler) were overturned. Bonfires were set in mall atriums, and heads were shaved by the hundreds. At the peak of the riot, a McDonald's official announced that the sandwich would return to the menu and that it was a marketing gimmick. Protesters literally froze in their tracks, and one rioter could be heard saying, "Oh." They then immediately dispersed, with many muttering, "My bad... sorry."
4. Cheers Fans Riot over Choosing Woody Harrelson to Replace Coach
Four were critically injured and three cop cars were torched in this extremely violent riot over the choice of Woody Harrelson to replace Coach on the popular TV series Cheers. "Turned out Woody Harrelson was pretty damn good. I admit it, we overreacted," says now-reflective Cheers fan Rebecca Gaylesford.
3. Detroit Pistons Fans Riot After Pre-Season Win
When the Detroit Pistons beat the Atlanta Hawks in a 1993 pre-season game, over 8,000 fans took to the streets. The Pistons had been led in scoring by Mark Macon with 12 points and had defeated the Hawks by 11 points. "A win's a win. It was the fourth game of the pre-season, and we were pumped," said Tony Underhill. Police cars were overturned and a local Mexican restaurant was forcibly redecorated with a Thai theme.
2. Glenn Beck Fans Protest Themselves
After Glenn Beck warned of paranoid, misinformed people and the danger they posed to America, Beck followers immediately started protesting themselves, with chants like, "We only have 10 percent of the information!" and, "We make sweeping, dangerous generalizations based on the ravings of a morning-zoo hack!" One protester overturned his own car and maced himself, yelling, "I'm incapable of discerning misinformation from truth!"
1. The Million-Baby March
After the success of the million-man march and several other imitators, infant activists called for a million-baby march. The protest was a resounding failure due largely to its 1-p.m. start time, which was right in the middle of nap time. Babies also experienced difficulties with travel and the actual "marching" part of the march due to most participants being unable to walk.
This post originally appeared on Funny or Die.
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