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The 6 Dumbest Protests Ever

Posted: 11/10/11 09:36 PM ET

With Penn State students protesting and rioting over the firing of football coach Joe Paterno, who participated in the cover-up of a serial child molester who happened to be his defensive coordinator, many have wondered what those students could possibly be thinking. With that in mind, we here at Funny or Die decided to do some research to find the six dumbest protests ever.

6. The Charles Manson Riots

Music fans protested the jailing of Charles Manson because he (to quote them) "had some more good tunes in him." It's a fact, Charles Manson was a singer-songwriter who tried to sell his songs to The Beach Boys. When he was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder and multiple counts of murder, some music fans were bummed because they felt he had just hit his songwriting stride before acid and horrific murder distracted him. Ted Reynolds, an employee at a Coconuts record store, said, "How do we know he didn't have a 'Good Vibrations' in him? Now we'll never know 'cause of that other legal junk... Someday they're going to invent the cassette tape, and those future mix tapes will suffer from this short-sighted legal decision."

5. McRib Fans Protest Removal of McRib from McDonald's Menu

Thousands of McRib fans took to the streets when the sandwich was removed from the menu. McDonald's restaurants were stormed and cars (and even an 18-wheeler) were overturned. Bonfires were set in mall atriums, and heads were shaved by the hundreds. At the peak of the riot, a McDonald's official announced that the sandwich would return to the menu and that it was a marketing gimmick. Protesters literally froze in their tracks, and one rioter could be heard saying, "Oh." They then immediately dispersed, with many muttering, "My bad... sorry."

4. Cheers Fans Riot over Choosing Woody Harrelson to Replace Coach

Four were critically injured and three cop cars were torched in this extremely violent riot over the choice of Woody Harrelson to replace Coach on the popular TV series Cheers. "Turned out Woody Harrelson was pretty damn good. I admit it, we overreacted," says now-reflective Cheers fan Rebecca Gaylesford.

3. Detroit Pistons Fans Riot After Pre-Season Win

When the Detroit Pistons beat the Atlanta Hawks in a 1993 pre-season game, over 8,000 fans took to the streets. The Pistons had been led in scoring by Mark Macon with 12 points and had defeated the Hawks by 11 points. "A win's a win. It was the fourth game of the pre-season, and we were pumped," said Tony Underhill. Police cars were overturned and a local Mexican restaurant was forcibly redecorated with a Thai theme.

2. Glenn Beck Fans Protest Themselves

After Glenn Beck warned of paranoid, misinformed people and the danger they posed to America, Beck followers immediately started protesting themselves, with chants like, "We only have 10 percent of the information!" and, "We make sweeping, dangerous generalizations based on the ravings of a morning-zoo hack!" One protester overturned his own car and maced himself, yelling, "I'm incapable of discerning misinformation from truth!"

1. The Million-Baby March

After the success of the million-man march and several other imitators, infant activists called for a million-baby march. The protest was a resounding failure due largely to its 1-p.m. start time, which was right in the middle of nap time. Babies also experienced difficulties with travel and the actual "marching" part of the march due to most participants being unable to walk.

This post originally appeared on Funny or Die.

 
With Penn State students protesting and rioting over the firing of football coach Joe Paterno, who participated in the cover-up of a serial child molester who happened to be his defensive coordinator,...
With Penn State students protesting and rioting over the firing of football coach Joe Paterno, who participated in the cover-up of a serial child molester who happened to be his defensive coordinator,...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onionboy
Blessed are the Cheese Makers
07:06 PM on 11/14/2011
The comments on this board are MUCH funnier than the article.
lightnessandjoy
Is micro-bio a new disease?
09:45 PM on 11/13/2011
"or die" on this one.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JohnCochtosten
10:34 PM on 11/13/2011
"Or die" on most things on that website.
09:36 PM on 11/13/2011
The guy could have put some real humor in here, if he had tried.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jerryengelbach
Working class heritage
08:35 PM on 11/13/2011
All joking aside, the dumbest protest ever was the South's firing on Fort Sumter.
09:37 PM on 11/13/2011
Yep, they were winning up to that point.
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CanuckistanCommie
I ain't no Commie but Pat Buchanan thinks so!!
07:31 PM on 11/13/2011
I don't understand how this subject could fall into the category of "Comedy"
The protests are shameful and a distraction to the real issues at hand.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tnlcallen
04:22 PM on 11/13/2011
You forgot the OWS protests.

What do we want?.......We don't know.
When do we want it?....We aren't sure.
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wittyprof
I'm a woman not an incubator.
05:22 PM on 11/13/2011
they're pretty clear on their statements and demands. why don't you actually read some of these rather than listening to fox?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MmeFlutterbye
Mmeflutterbye
06:19 PM on 11/13/2011
It's easier and more fun to repeat sensational lies emanating from the lips of Faux News hosts/pundits/new readers.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Azlegit
07:23 PM on 11/13/2011
They are pretty clear...let us camp in your public parks for free; protect us from ourselves; let us know when you have a job for us (preferably high paying with little to no experience); provide food, water and medical for us poor souls and...tell the boss I have the flu!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
surfette72
Conservative your mother warned you about.
05:58 PM on 11/13/2011
You know, it's pretty funny how you Libs whip Fox out of absolutely nowhere at the drop of a hat. What, do you guys think that every Republican, Conservative, or anyone else who may not agree with you just sits in front of Fox News all day, drooling and taking notes? It kind of makes me wonder if your side doesn't blindly "worship" some of the more left-leaning media. If not, what makes you think we do it? Personally I assume that Liberals get their ideals, beliefs and values from many various sources, like MOST PEOPLE. So cool it with Fox. They aren't all THAT great anyway.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tholin
08:30 PM on 11/13/2011
Are you disputing the fact that "Conservative Republicans" form and reinforce their views via Fox news ?

Why ask others to "cool it" with their criticisms of Fox, if "they're not that great anyway" ?

Sounds like buyers remorse you're channeling there, surfette.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jerryengelbach
Working class heritage
08:33 PM on 11/13/2011
The simplistic sound bites that come from some people are what trigger many of the Fox News accusations.

A well-reasoned argument usually gets more reasonable responses.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nitwitsRus
my udder username is...
03:46 PM on 11/13/2011
ok NOW
NEXT secret message
it's not that i wanna cut off
ALL communication
BUT
i am wound kinda tight right now
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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03:46 PM on 11/13/2011
LOL!! I can't believe none of the penn state kids told their parents or the cops.
02:23 PM on 11/13/2011
I'm not finding anything funny in using the Penn State crime story as a "hook" for made up nonsense.

Grow up.
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Fido0311
Im in the middle of everything...Mostly trouble
04:13 PM on 11/13/2011
Well penn state is the joke now and for a while.
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pattio66
I'm here!!!
12:45 PM on 11/13/2011
HILARIOUS!!!
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
11:46 AM on 11/13/2011
Was this supposed to have been funny?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Film Shark
I love cinema.
10:47 AM on 11/13/2011
Writer-director Sean Durkin of the indie film, 'Martha Marcy May Marlene' is correct. He compared the fanatical worship of a sports team to a cult-like following. Think about it. When a team loses a championship game, fans take to the streets, riot, overturn vehicles, and smash windows.
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kencrn419
The past laughs last...
10:57 AM on 11/13/2011
They do the same thing when the team WINS.
07:33 PM on 11/13/2011
Just saw the movie, very good. She had to leave the cult after seeing the murder. The cult would have been scarier and perhaps more realistic if they had also done Bible study or quotes.
At Penn State they had that sports and church patriarchy cults going. Hard for anyone to speak up but they should have.
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Dredd
Our government is a wartocracy.
10:47 AM on 11/13/2011
Good ones Adam. Recent research explains the reason for these seemingly inexplicable riots against common sense.

http://blogdredd.blogspot.com/2011/11/weekend-rebel-science-excursion-10.html
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10:33 AM on 11/13/2011
Funny stuff!! The mark of excellent satire is sometimes accompanied by that creeping feeling that perhaps this is not satire at all, but the unadulterated truth.Two of my favorite REAL LIFE political protests I witnessed in Santa Cruz, years back...One involved selling Richard Nixon's memoirs by the pound (or slices!), based on the current price of "baloney".....And another, a bare-breasted march through downtown to protest the shirtless provenance of men( well, surfers and hippie boys) in public. I was reminded at the time of that great line from The Lion in Winter, where Eleanor relates that she rode, bare-breasted, to Damascus: "I damn near died of windburn, but the troops were dazzled..."
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pattio66
I'm here!!!
12:47 PM on 11/13/2011
Love me some Eleanor of Aquitaine!
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seegray
"oppression can beget nothing other than itself.â€
01:11 AM on 11/13/2011
As a U. of Colorado alum, here's my personal favorite: http://www.ndsn.org/mayjun97/boulder.html.

The Boulder police had been cracking down on underage drinking in town, so the students actually had bonfires in the streets and just flatout drunken riots to protest.

Yep, the underage students were dumbenough to have drunken riots protesting the police cracking down on underage drinking.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tall coolone
Professional know-it-all
05:18 PM on 11/13/2011
substitute "the spoiled little kids" for "the underage students"...
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seegray
"oppression can beget nothing other than itself.â€
05:42 PM on 11/13/2011
LOL....it was Boulder, so yes, you are likely correct (I taught there as well, and can say they definitely weren't all that way though).