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Adam McKay

Adam McKay

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Why Won't Hawaii Produce Documents Proving It's a State?

Posted: 04/27/11 12:00 PM ET

Finally the president has responded to Republican pressure and produced irrefutable evidence that he was born in the "state" of Hawaii. But now it's time Hawaii answer doubters and produce documents proving that it is a state. What are they hiding? And why haven't we seen these documents?

Mr. Lowery Gorgolos, 91, a coast guard veteran and a daily fixture at the Denny's in Houston, Texas is still not convinced: "As far as I'm concerned there's only 32 real states. The rest were added by communists and the elite liberals. I'm not even 100% sure Hawaii exists. Sure we see photos and hear stories but if photos and stories were proof then Bigfoot would be real. Or India."

For now the American public is left with lingering questions such as "why doesn't Hawaii have a pro baseball team?" and "Don Ho isn't an American name."

Lucy Pulgrust, 38, a lifestyle consultant in Daytona, Florida still isn't convinced "Hawaii has volcanoes. That doesn't sound like America to me." When asked to comment on America's lack of a cogent trade policy and tariffs that are one tenth that of China's at 2%, Ms. Pulgrust responded "I had tariffs once on a trip to Mexico but then I just drank bottled water and they went away."

The Governor of Hawaii was not available for comment.