Everyone under the sun has commented on how Tiger Woods should have handled his recent troubles. No crisis manager, however, has approached this as a teachable moment for future high-profile philanderers. We aim to change that (with tongue firmly in cheek).
Here are some strategic lessons from past scandals of the heart (or otherwise) that could have helped Tiger avoid his problems.
1. Have Enemies Who Hate You. When personal failings are outed, it helps to have a nemesis trying to exploit your moments of weakness to his own advantage. Exploitation creates sympathy, and sympathy might be the only way out of this mess. One reason our former president survived the Monica Lewinsky affair is that an entire political movement and an independent counsel were just waiting to jump all over him for it.
Unfortunately for Tiger, he was almost universally beloved among golf fans and non-golf fans alike. Moreso, most of his golfing competitors never took the bait. If just a few more had piled on (Jesper Parnevik doesn't count), Tiger would be in much better shape today. By not targeting Tiger, his competitors are actually doing to him off the fairway what they can't do on it.
2. Set Low Expectations. Low expectations soften the blow of public personal failings. If people think you are likely to act like an adulterer, they do not get that worked up when you do. Tiger could have presented his playboy side publicly before he got married. Sponsors would still have sponsored him, they would have had a much better sense of what they were buying, and he might have fared better. Certainly, the reaction would have been more muted. Future celebrity Lotharios take note: if you are going to take your pants off, show a little leg publicly first.
3. No Prostitutes. There are almost no exceptions to this rule. If you are a politician, celebrity, or athlete who hopes to maintain some public dignity after your indecent conduct goes viral, you better not pay for it. Consider former Gov. Eliot Spitzer. He paid with cash, and then paid with his political career. To be fair, Tiger has not confirmed he went pro, but he has not denied it. To the public, that is as good as a confession.
4. Never Leave Evidence Behind. This is more than just about a blue dress. Whisper sweet nothings if you need to, but don't write anything down. Remember Gov. Mark Sanford's emails? And, for heaven's sake, no voicemails! Had Tiger learned nothing from history?
5. Less is More (Or at Least Safer). Keep the number of mistresses relatively low. This is basic math - the more affairs, the more likely you will be discovered, and the more likely you will be viewed as a complete jerk. Keep your numbers small and maybe you'll get a mulligan.
6. The Mutually Assured Destruction Principle. When selecting partners, choose folks who have as much to lose as you do - rich people, married people, famous people. This is not at all a criticism of porn stars, cocktail waitresses, or prostitutes. It is a criticism of Tiger's judgment. Have you ever heard of an affair between fellow billionaires or fellow politicians? Do you think it's because there hasn't been one?
For most of us, these rules are irrelevant: we don't have global brands, we don't have endorsement deals, and we don't have millions of fans. But, for those who do, heed our advice. If you won't change your ways, at least change your strategy. But, of course, the best strategy might just be not to cheat on your wife.
Mr. Goldberg was Special Associate Counsel to President Clinton. Mr. Galper is a veteran of political communications and speechwriting. Both are law partners at Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe LLP specializing in crisis management and strategic affairs.