By its very definition, toxic refers to a dangerous substance that can be poisonous, debilitating, or life-alternating in other ways. Substances, however, are not the only thing that can be toxic as many people all-too-well know. Individuals can be just as toxic to our daily lives as any substance and produce just as harmful side effects.
All toxic substances have warning signs affixed to their container, allowing individuals to easily identify what's inside. Unfortunately, people themselves don't have warning labels. Identifying and eliminating the types of toxic people in our lives is important for overall mental health and productivity.
The following is eight types of toxic individuals to avoid in your daily life.
#1. Those who love to gossip
You know the type: once this toxic individual finds out a juicy piece of information, as many people as they think may care -- even remotely -- will know by the end of the day. Gossips derive pleasure by passing on other's misfortunes, or they spread gossip to elevate their sense of worth. Regardless of their reason, focusing energy on the negative things in life is a waste of time that can be spent focusing on positives.
Solution: Once you start taking interest in their subject matter it encourages them to continue. The best bet is to not feed the gossiper with further questions, curiosity, excitement or agreement.
#2. Those who are always judgmental
Certainly, it's important to able to make critical judgments and offer critiques. Some toxic individuals take that to the extreme. These individuals criticize anything and everything they see, forming their negative outlook without taking the time to learn the facts.
Constructive criticism between friends is good to help a relationship grow, but judgmental individuals are poor listeners and extremely poor communicators, making their words toxic to your outlook on life.
Solution: Understand that sometime people can't see things from your perspective, you can try to reason with them, but don't let their negativity take you down. If you believe what you are doing is the right thing to do, keep doing it.
#3. Those who are envious or jealous of your achievements
Envious people bring extreme negativity to your daily life. For these people, any success you achieve will never be good enough because they wish they had attained it. These individuals want to be only ones who achieve success in life.
After hitting a milestone or accomplishment, your friends should help you celebrate that success. Envious people will point out where you fall short, pointing immediately at the next goal as to where you "should" be or how your goal doesn't live up to their own accomplishments.
Solution: Do not belittle anyone. If you have a jealous coworker, try to defuse it by recognizing their efforts and helping them excel in their work. If problem is serious, document it and have allies in higher positions, who can help with damage control.
#4. Those who play victim card
Accountability is a major function for managers. These leaders take accountability for actions they cause, or they hold others responsible for their actions. Victims are the polar opposite of managers. These toxic individuals assign blame to everyone else in their lives and accept no accountability for their actions.
The reason this trait is so toxic is the victim's attitude can be contagious, leaving you seeing speed bumps as Mount Everest challenges. Remember, individuals should grow from tough times, not see them as an excuse.
Solution: It is easier to identify a victim, they act selfishly, feel more entitled and are often angry. To find a resolve, listen to their problems once, but don't emancipate their sense of self victimization. Do not let them victimize you of their victim behavior, never get blackmailed.
#5. Those who are manipulative
In many ways, these are the worst of the toxic individuals you encounter in life. These individuals will appear to be your friends and have your best interest at heart. Instead, these folks are using you or your position in as a means to better their own.
Manipulators always want something from you and use friendship as a disguise for their hidden agenda. If you are in a relationship where you constantly give but do not take, it's likely you are being manipulated by this toxic individual.
Solution: Learn to say no and be firm about it. Create certain boundaries around you that manipulators can't pass.
#6. Those who are suffocating and control freak
This toxic trait originates in the same manner as a manipulative person, but their agenda is not hidden. Instead, these individuals want to have control over all aspects of any decisions you jointly make. They could be called "know-it-alls" because these toxic people know the one and only way something should be done.
A successful and enriching connection will work like a team, accepting ideas that are not their own for the betterment of the group. Control freaks, however, do not have that capacity.
Solution: They act as if they know "what is best for you." Do not try to control your controller, instead be cool and calm, explain your view point and be assertive about it.
#7. The unintelligent
This toxic trait is dangerous because these unintelligent people mimic the definition of insanity. Instead of learning from their mistakes, they continuously repeat them in an extremely foolish or irrational manner. The reason these individuals continue to make mistakes is due to their inflated ego or sense of arrogance. Aligning yourself with these toxic individuals is the path to repeated failure as growth from obstacles is key to a quality life.
Solution: Don't tell them, show them. Be kind during discussions and backup your claims with proven ways of doing certain things better.
#8. Those who are naysayers
Sometimes, just being a person filled with a negative outlook on life is enough to drain the positive energy you hold. You will recognize these individuals because they are always angry, resentful, or suspicious of what's going on around them.
These individuals will discredit every idea you have and go out of their way to point out how you will fail instead of showing you support. You need friends who will focus on the positive possibilities or outcomes from a situation, not beat you down further with their actions and comments.
Solution: You are the average of five people you spend your life with, pick the best of them. Surround yourself with enablers instead of naysayers.
Parting thoughts
If all else fails, the time has come to end the relationship you have with this toxic individual. At work, you may consider transferring to a new department, new job or leaving your current job altogether. At school or home, you may need to avoid all contact with the individual to ensure their toxic attitudes are not infecting your life. While this will hurt in the short term, you will feel better about your decision in the long run.