An Amma hug (darshan) is eight seconds of bliss. It's eight seconds of receiving incredible, unconditional love. It's collapsing into someone's arms, whose sole purpose is to be there for you. Whose intentions are to be very, very present and give you everything she has that's positive. It's eight seconds of connecting with pure goodness -- someone who has chosen to live giving love to others. Over 35 million hugs served up with a smile and chocolate -- three of my favorite things all at once. Boom. Boom. Boom.
That was the first time I've ever received a hug like that. Ever. Where I consciously allowed myself to be vulnerable and trust I deserve what I'm receiving. Where I let go of logic and opened my heart to believing in spiritual power. Where I allowed myself to be enchanted. Where I didn't share a hug - just received. A gift...just for me. A deep, connected, hug for no reason, from a stranger - filled with unconditional love. No. I've never received a hug like that.
Here's how it went down...
I waited. The waiting began from the moment we arrived. Waiting to park, to get our hug token, the bathroom, food, for our hug, etc. But it was a different type of waiting. I've got a lot of kumbaya in me, so it was enjoyable. It was a diverse collection of individuals all with the same intention -- to receive that unconditional, magical love from Amma. We were high. Sort of like a Beatles or Nirvana concert except we were all high off of love and spirit. It's a unique energy.
We were brought there for different reasons. For me -- it was about finding my spiritual footing again as I'd been out of practice. It was about wanting to experience something empowering, compassionate, and healing -- three things my inner child will always crave. I wanted to let go, and feel energy of the millions she's hugged (there's no way that's not going to do me some good).
I chatted. But it was a different type of chatting. It was fulfilling. No small talk -- just sharing with depth, creating immediate connection. My focus has been on daily living -- with my little family, dealing with the stuff that comes with raising two daughters under seven. Before children it was meditation, play, yoga, grounding, alone time, etc. After children it greatly shifted, as did my daily conversations. However, waiting for my eight seconds of bliss, I found myself slip easily back into a deeper sense of being -- discussing personal healing, connection, and a higher power. Like riding a bike.
I observed. The curious and creative part of me imagined about the others. What are their stories? Why are they there? Sitting just seats behind Amma, waiting for my turn, I let myself scan the entire room from right to left. I felt sadness and compassion, easily seeing the pain in some of them. Above all, I felt joy knowing we were all there to share the primary inspiration in life: LOVE.
My turn. I felt a sense of peace as I moved from chair to chair, inching my way closer to Amma. I consciously breathed love in and out of my mind, body, and heart. When it was my turn, I observed her garments, draped in white layers, covered in a cocktail of scents and stains from makeup and fluids. She smiled wide and took me in her arms. Oh that smile - bright and authentic. She was truly there for me in that moment, to share joy, and give me all she had to give. She smelled of roses and I let my head rest in her bosom like a child settling in for a nap. She chanted something in my ear in Malayalam. I had no idea what she said, but it didn't matter. After our eight seconds passed I broke the rules. I didn't leave. Rather, I held onto her arms gently, looked into her laughing eyes and told her, "I love you" from a deep place of sincerity.
I felt free. "I love you" were not words that flowed easily until my late 20s. And I felt assured in that moment that I really understood the strength of genuine and authentic love. Because even though this was only eight seconds, I felt I knew her - like we are one because we get (and share) the power of unconditional love. I cried with relief and joy.
Her energy is still with me.
Physically: I can feel the love vibrating off my skin. I smell the rose and the millions of hugs she's received before me.
Mentally: I am even more conscious of what is in my mind and thoughts.
Emotionally: I want to give the same love to my family, and myself, everyday.
Spiritually: I am trusting and believing more...in humanity and in the unfolding of life. I am feeling more grounded.
Relationally: I want to share love with my family and friends. I want to bring clear love and positivity to those around me. And let judgments go in and right out.
Overall I feel inspired to leave a positive imprint in this world, and in my daily actions. Starting with my little family. We embraced for a family Amma hug the next day...and it was the best hug we've ever shared. And now we consistently share Amma hugs, especially when it's most needed.
Amma. Amma-zing. Over 35 million served. Make that 35 million and one, because I just knocked something pretty special off my bucket list. I highly suggest you get yours. But until then, I leave you with this: Make a choice to share hugs like that. With yourself too and, especially, children. Let them collapse into your arms and just hold them as you think about love. In your mind, body, and heart project all the love and positivity you have to that moment. Just a conscious, very present hug. Do that every day. It's just eight seconds.
Amma-ste'.