Incarcerated Fathers Are Still Fathers

I can never hold back the tears when I watch this video. Daniel Beaty delivers this poem with such force and such passion; you can't help but be moved. They are the most powerful words I've ever heard in describing the pain left by a father's absence. I've felt that pain, but I've never heard words that capture it so eloquently.

It should be noted that the boy in Beaty's poem is left fatherless by incarceration. It's the same fate of more than 2 million children across the nation. In Illinois, nearly 90,000 children have a parent in prison or a parent who recently left prison. As Beaty tells us, that pain can last for decades -- and it doesn't instantly dissolve even when those imprisoned fathers come home. It can take a lifetime to heal those scars.

There are scores of organizations and individuals advocating for the rights of children with incarcerated parents, but the people and institutions with the most power in helping those children cope with the loss Beaty describes are the very ones who've arrested, sentenced and imprisoned their parents.

Surely, the police, the courts and the prisons can't make a father have a relationship with his children. Nor should that be their primary charge. We pay police officers, prosecutors, judges and wardens to protect the public. But they can remove some barriers that limit the contact between child and incarcerated parent, or limit the impact of these tragic realities on the fragile psyches of children.

Whether it's taking the presence of children into account during arrests, considering the impact on a father's children when sentencing him to years in prison or providing smoother access for children to actually hug their mothers and fathers when their behind bars, we have some ability to intervene in the painful journey that Beaty describes.

The plight of children of the incarcerated is really not about crime and punishment. It's about family values. If we value familial bonds, we should help children continue their games of "Knock Knock" with their fathers, even if their fathers owe us years of hard time for the wrongs they've committed. After all, as Beaty tells us, "we are our fathers' sons and daughters, but we are not their choices." So let's not make children pay for the mistakes of their incarcerated parents.

Comments

[Gregory Curtis]

'How about some personal responsibilty? I don't believe that children should ever be brought anywhere near a prison. You have violated the law and most likely someone else's liberty. Know that your time in prison will be not only served by you but by your children as well.

[LMPE]

Somehow, the US has more people in jail than China (a police state with four times the population of the US) has.

[TheBlackCat]

Programs which mentor kids in this situation are so helpful. I do the Big Sisters program and my Little has both parents in jail, with some relatives now acting as her guardians. She has a friend in a similar situation who is also in the program. Kids like these need as much help and support as they can get, and volunteering through Big Sisters/Brothers or a similar program is a great way to help out.

Also, almost every major city in America, as well as college towns, has a "books for prisoners" program in which you can donate books and textbooks, or volunteer at centers which run these programs. These are then given to prisoners who are seeking an education while incarcerated, to assist them in becoming productive members of society upon release.

[kobio]

It is painful to not have a father. Unless, of course, he beats the Sh@T out of you. I wish my dad would have been put in prison. My mom, my sister and my two brothers would have survived a whole hell of alot better without that abusive alcoholic beast around our house. OH Sorry, am I going off? Be careful what you wish for.

[PatA]

I have worked in a private prison as a guard and also as a teacher. Teaching gave me a better opportunity to beome close to the offenders.
The grandparents generally took care of the female offender's children. That within itself is a very sad situation.
A young man told me he had 9 children with two women. He has never lived with either family. He is 32 years old and his first child was born when he was 14. He has never given either mother one dime.
I soon realized that the majority of the offenders were incarcerated due to lower level drug offenses.
American is addicted to prisons and it affects how cities, counties, states and on the federal arrest and sentence. I left out judges....­. too many are too willing to lock the defendants up and throw away the keys.
I've done a ton of research on rehabilitation and it just isn't there. No one cares to help the offender learn skills to live in the real world. I was reprimanded many times because I reserved the last hour of my classes for life skills. I told them "you have it easy in here, the hard part is going to be when you are released" There are many police officers waiting to arrest a minority parolee.
Out of 100,000 people, black men make up 1479 prisonners. Out of 100,000 people, 1250 mexicans are in prison. Out of 100,000 people only 470+ are white men.

[TheBlackCat]

Drug laws in this country are shameful and are simply not enforced equally.
For instance studies show that males only use marijuana at a slightly higher rate than females, and minorities only use marijuana at a slightly higher rate than whites...y­et 80% of marijuana arrests are minorities and think around 70% are male.

The fact of the matter is that a white female caught with drugs is not subject to the same risk of incarceration as a black male caught with the same drugs.

And of course there is the ridiculous way in which sentencing for crack is FAR harsher than that for cocaine despite the fact that crack IS cocaine, it's just a method of cocaine use favored by minorities. Again...a black male caught with crack goes to jail, but a white female caught with ten times more cocaine on her likely just goes to rehab.