I want everybody to back away from the sisters Spears. They are not the problem. You are.
It isn't Britney's fault that she's been in show business for 28 of her 27 years. The girl is an earner. And like all earners, she should be able to do whatever she pleases.
A disclaimer: I never liked Britney Spears. In fact, I hate her. I hate her music, hate the stripper dance moves, the lip-syncing, hated all of it. But, until I can bank 20 million a year on my perfume sales, I've got no right to judge her.
Why do the paparazzi trail her like she is Princess Di? Because somebody's buying those rags when she's on the cover. From The Mickey Mouse Club to naughty Catholic girl to lesbo kissing that Italian grandma this girl has captivated our great nation. She's a punch-drunk ex-champ now, closer to Muhammad Ali than to the Elvis Presley we all want her to be.
We all love Muhammad Ali. We accept his quivering imprisonment because when he floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee he was the greatest. That's how we must look at Britney. Her best days are behind her; she's taken too many blows to the head. She was the greatest at whatever it was she was. She deserves some distance now to stumble into the sunset.
Yet, we still pursue her like the villagers pursued Frankenstein's monster. Waving our torches at the misunderstood, man-made creation.
Now, I don't know who wants to smell like Britney Spears, but K-Fed should grow a pair and play the Steadman he was put on this earth to be. He should get his allowance, draw the baths, play the chauffeur and microwave the mac 'n' cheese. Then, he can look after Britney's children too. That's what this reduces to anyway: the children.
And this is what now brings me to Jamie Lynn Spears. Apparently, she is a child with child. I did not even know their was a Jamie Lynn Spears before I knew she was pregnant...at 16... while playing a popular kid on a cable TV show with good values.
But, now it turns out that show was just fiction. She isn't really a virgin. She doesn't have good values. She's 16 and she's pregnant!
As a father of an 11-year-old daughter I say THANK YOU JAMIE LYNN! Thank you for becoming a point of reference to talk about sex and birth control and all those other things most of us parents ostrich on. You have performed more than one great service for your nation, Jamie Lynn. The press wants to demonize you. They are the tornado trying to wipe out the cosmic trailer park you live in. Yet the very same press adores Juno, a movie about a pregnant 16-year-old who gives her kid up for adoption. It's been labeled witty and funny and heartwarming and all those other adjectives movie critic's love to use. Finally there's a movie that sheds light on the real American girl: a sexually curious, socially confused sarcastic walking ponytail. That's what Juno is and that's what Jamie Lynn evidently is too...but she probably won't give her kid up for adoption.
If you want these girls to disappear, stop buying their shit. Until then, applaud the sisters Spears for helping the kids of America see that life, even those filled with fame and fortune, continues to be stranger than fiction.