The Sunshine State of the Union

Florida caused all this mess. Now, Florida is trying to clean it up.

The state that brought you hanging chads and the Anna Nicole Smith trial has taken a major step towards sobriety by finally admitting they have a problem. Florida has done our great nation a great service in slaying the political aspirations of Dame Trudy.

He tried to seduce you: He spent two months eating his dinners at 3 pm with the early birds down in Boca and Orlando promising you that he was the only thing between those free dinner rolls in your purses and Barack Osama Ben Kanobi!

He swept through Florida like Ponce De Leon, but you didn't drink from his fountain of fear. No, Florida. You accepted him, like so many of your seniors. You welcomed Trudy and fed him and sent him to Synagogue. You let him die with dignity! His children sifting through his war bonds wondering if any of them would mature.

You bravely chose the glassy-eyed septuagenarian P.O.W. to take on Team Clinton. It's going to be alright, Florida. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. Now, if you can explain South Beach, all those serial killers and Ricky Williams you might get somewhere.

Trudy, I still hate you. What's your chief policy advisor, er, your candy-striper wife going to do now? You were the bedpan she didn't throw out. What about your children? They were just getting their footing. Your daughter changed her name from Guiliani. Your son is licking Obama's envelopes. Now what do they do? Just not talk to you?

To make matter's worse. The Yankees didn't even get Johan Santana! You screwed that up as well. So, Trudy, I've got to know. Was this all just some game? Did you just dangle your hopes for a police state? Can Guiliani Partners ever lobby from the 2nd floor Atrium again?

I guess when the going gets tough, Trudy, the tough pack it in.