Dear World,
It's been a big week. We have all had a very big week and we all deserve a break from the bigness. Things seem to be cracking wide open, don't they? And they seem to be doing it from communities that for all intents and purposes, used to be silent. Truly, deeply silent. But it seems, for some unknown reason and all of a sudden and out of nowhere; the marginalized have found the mute button.
And now, change is a constant. And that's exhausting.
Please know I am by no means speaking out of malice or anger, but there is a spiritual element to transitioning. It is not about surgery and it is not about appearance. We are tribal, by nature. Meaning, your masculine behavior is defined by your upbringing, your genetics and probably most importantly... the unseen; The unknown. There is an element of faith that is at play here. This is why men who are Fatherless grow up to be men, no matter who's in the house. The Divine self is pure. It is untouched and it is powerful. It has no gender and it has no judgment. All of that is learned. We learn how to behave how to move, how to act and how to treat each other, as both men and women. What is the worst insult you can say to a man in our country? "You're acting like a girl" or "Don't be such a sissy." These are attributes we assign in times of our own fear of how we ourselves are being perceived, and where our spiritual freedom lies. We cannot get away with what you seem to be getting away with, so we attack. And we do it by slicing ourselves into two separate halves: Men do this, and women do that.
I know; I spent my childhood in the arms of violence and hatred. Pure rage for who I was and how I behaved. There was blood spilled and limbs torn and rocks thrown and years of shatterings that made their way into my own shame and pain and anger and resentment and tattered me into shards of empty waiting and years of soulless wandering. Suicide and regret held my hand. And all because I wasn't behaving well.
Only through science and logic does the spiritual brilliance of us get diminished. So if in fact I say that I am moving to another part of me, to a piece of my Divine self that is unnamed as of yet and I present in our tribe as feminine when before I presented as masculine, how is that changing you? I only ask for your heart space to open up, and for you to honor me. I don't need your acceptance nor do I require your approval.
And now there is a forerunner on the horizon. There is someone you know who is transitioning, There is a person you are familiar with, even if you don't know her, that is in movement and seems to either be a comfort or a hindrance to the daily life you attend. Caitlyn Jenner has certainly rocked the boat. And this is a boat all of us seem to have bought a ticket for.
Caitlyn's need to be referred to as 'she' or 'her,' is upsetting to some, and her new found freedom and her ability to live in that freedom will not be recognized. It seems to me, that her identity is much more of an issue for some than it is for her. As we figure this out, all of us together, let's try to keep in mind that the beautiful part of you is always recognized by the beautiful part of others. So share it. Release it. Give it as a gift. Quoting scientific fact doesn't change that spiritual center of our faith. When was the last time that actually worked? So move into allowance and beauty. Into openness and attention, for as we all change, as we all grow, as well as transition, our legacy will be how we lived in it. Great courage comes from great kindness. This is how we live in the world, that is how we change the world and that is your great responsibility in the world. To allow others to find their voice and to do it while you honor their journey in reverence and in compassion.
May you and I live in a world that requires change from the inner life, and praise those who revere it. And please... next time you feel the need to mis-gender us, ignore us, debate us, challenge us or discount us, know that feels like another punch thrown from another bully.
I have faith in you, world. I always have. You may hate the new voices now, but eventually, you seem to find great peace in revolution.
Many Blessings,
Alexandra...(since 1981)