Postponing Debates: What John McCain can Learn from Ferris Bueller and Me

Ferris Bueller [on getting out of school]: You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school. - from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I had a history of stomach problems growing up, so when I wanted to skip school and avoid a test after a particularly booze-heavy weekend (in beautiful Delaware our weekends usually consisted of playing "cops and robbers" in the fields, making silly movies, drinking warm beer we stole from the garage, or some combination of the three), I had a solid excuse.

And for God's sake, I was seventeen years old! You'd think after seventy-two years on this planet, John McCain would have had time to come up with a better excuse to avoid the debate than the fact that the good citizens of the United States need him to solve the financial crisis because either a) at best, he's not ready or b.) this is political strategy at its most crass, trying to force Obama into a false and unnecessary choice between country and campaign.

Given McCain's obvious ineptitude when it comes to economic matters ("[I]t is not the duty of government to bail out and reward those who act irresponsibly, whether they are big banks or small borrowers;" "I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."), I think we'll be okay without him for one night. When my drain's clogged I call a plumber, not the guy who stands around mumbling about sinks at Home Depot.

So, Mr. McCain, the next time you need an excuse, take a hint from Ferris and me and at least try to make it believable. At the risk of sounding ageist, here are some suggestions that are much more believable coming from a man of your years: shingles, incontinence, sore feet, general disapproval of the "damn kids these days".... take your pick.

Sure, it's a little childish and stupid. But then again, so is politics.

Comments

[realpolitic]

Whatever happened to Jennifer Grey? She had an unusual beauty.

[jennmousse]

Hey Cynisism,

Perhaps this refresher may remind you why your theory and McCain's excuse makes little sense:

RUSSERT: National security, the war in Iraq had been the dominant issue in the campaign until a few weeks ago. And now the economy has taken hold. Ask any of the voters; it's the economy. Senator McCain, you have said repeatedly, quote, I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated. Is it a problem for your campaign that the economy is now the most important issue, one that by your own acknowledgment you're not well versed on?
-January 24, 2008 debate with McCain

So a man who needs to be educated on the economy wants to use this crisis for education? Thanks, but no thanks.

[OVERSITE]

you see jack welsh try to pin mortgage backed securities on house democrarts

these overpaid ceos are such liars

[Marilynn]

John McCain: Same old, too old

[cynicism101]

wow - so you're honestly suggesting that JM is not ready to debate BO on foreign policy? Do you actually believe that on your own?

If this were reversed - you know, in some make believe fantasy world - and the anointed one demonstrated some leadership and suggested this approach ... well, certainly you'd be espousing the great visionary strengths of your guy... how's he's so in-touch with the people, how he realizes the American people are much more interested in solving these domestic financial matters - and not wasting time on these foreign policy issues.

Still, I think there is some merit to your movie analogy. Yes, JM could be seen as Ferris - the guy crafty and intelligent enough to stay one step ahead of his detractors. The guy with a proven history of getting along with the preppies, the dweebs, the jocks, etc... Your guy, see - he's more like Cameron (though, I detest the thought of BO wearing the winged wheel). He's very analytical, brilliant in many regards. Only, he has to be dragged along by others to convince him to do the right thing.

[obamadeus]

Who is it exactly that gets along with John McCain these days?

[skippypicasso]

Right, do you think about these things before you write them? If Barack Obama had even thought about postponing a debate, Democrats AND Republicans would jump down his throat and everyone would wonder (rightly) what exactly he is afraid of. So, in that spirit, what, precisely, do you think McCain is afraid of?

[RobinLandseadel]

"wow - so you're honestly suggesting that JM is not ready to debate BO on foreign policy? Do you actually believe that on your own? "

Gawd yes---McCain can't keep his talking points straight for for more than three consecutive hours. There may have been a John McCain at one time who would speak from his gut, say what he really feels and be a convincing foreign wonk, but the sick, drugged-up Manchurian Candidate we've been watching over the last month hasn't sounded like a human since the Rove-bots took over his campaign and turned him into a human public address system for their Neo-Fascist talking points. McCain probably has some intelligent things to say about foreign policy but Steve Schmidt and Rick Davis will never allow him to express those thoughts publicly. They don't want the old boy to go off message and screw up the coronation of Empress Palin.

[Alexis C. Jolly - Huffpost Blogger]

You may be on to something, cynicism101. I've made some slight changes to the second paragraph (after the quotation), addressing the fact that perhaps he is ready and this is all just a political ploy.

Or maybe tzip's comment below is accurate, and he's trying to buy time for Ms. Palin. Either way, my respect for the man is really through the roof at this point.

[privatepatriot]

Maybe he is still trying to figure out the differences between sunnis and shiites.

[HWBII]

Now that the White House has "invited" both candidates to a meeting there tomorrow I think we can say that McCain has come up with the ultimate: My mommy won't let me come!

[tzip]

McCain isnt trying to stop his debate. He's trying to delay or stop Palin's. By asking to move it to Palin's date.

I think Palin is not doing well in coaching and they are hoping to gain time. This should be interesting.

[HWBII]

You've got that right. Lindsey Graham has already suggested pre-empting the VP debate. I just watch Palin on Couric... pitiful. Downright pitiful. They must be terrified.

[kathy001]

Very good point. And probably right on the money.

[larry278]

The barely audible sound of a weak flatulent emission would be a perfect ending for the two year, endless, campaign for the presidency which was to end on Nov 4, 2008. Present that sound bit at the end of each cancelled debate.

[kathy001]

Some other excuses McCain could have used that would make more sense than that the country needs his economic expertise:

"I've fallen and I can't get up."
"The dog ate my debate notes."
"I forgot."

[cynicism101]

I can understand your views given the nonexistent body of work your guy has assembled resolving problems of any kind.

I think JM has a lot to offer to this process - read the following, note the date, then rethink the talking points you've been feed.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/record.xpd?id=109-s20060525-16&bill=s109-190

[kramskoi]

It was introduced on January 26, 2005, and the last action on it was on July 28, 2005 (http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=s109-190). McCain didn't sign on as a cosponsor until May 25, 2006, well after the bill died in committee (http://www.govtrack.us/congress/record.xpd?id=109-s20060525-16&bill=s109-190).

[kathy001]

Sorry, darlin'. Unlike you, and much like kramskoi, I actually read from more than one source before I form an opinion. I'm not changing my opinion or my talking points.

[WhatsLeft]

McCain would be the one to think that putting a car in reverse will change the mileage.

[sociocanuck]

Short but sweet.

[joesnuffy]

Obama to McCain:

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine.

[cyndie1030]

LOL! Brilliant. I can add an excuse for him...he forgot where he parked one of his 13 cars.

[RobinLandseadel]

Ben Stein:

McCain?

McCain?

McCain?

[OkieIntellectual]

Brilliant!