01/28/2014 10:09 am ET Updated Mar 30, 2014

The Worst Dressed Musicians Unite at the 2014 Grammy Awards

After this week, who can take Grammy Award fashion seriously? In my book, it's like a special addendum to Halloween, reserved specifically for musicians. A one night affair where creepy and crazy come together on the red carpet and celebrities take the liberty of pushing the fashion envelope just about as far as it can go, even if it means bursting a few seams.

From an oversized brown hat resembling the logo of everyone's favorite 1990's roast beef drive-thru (Pharrell), to witchy dip-dyed fingers (Lorde) and futuristic space alien robot costumes (Daft Punk), music's biggest night may as well be dubbed fashion's biggest horror show.

When you overlook Paula Patton's absurd lion motif and zebra-print dress because there are worse wardrobes in sight, it's an indication that these people, their stylists and some designers must be conspiring against the rest of us. Madonna's Ralph Lauren tuxedo wasn't terrible, it was the gold grill she flashed upon arrival paired with her crotchety cane and her consecutive costume change to a western-themed white suit of sorts that has completely stripped her of any fashion credibility and probably simultaneously put Mr. Lauren in cardiac arrest.

The innocent fashion misses including Katy Perry's musically inclined Valentino gown and Sara Bareilles' unintentional bridal nod aren't even worthy of criticism when Charlotte Kemp Muhl shows up looking like she didn't quite finish rummaging through a dumpster before her limo arrived and Cyndi Lauper's cape and bright red 'do actually inhibit your ability to form words.

Not that CeeLo Green has ever been one to take fashion cues from (his musical guidance is also iffy), but even adults in search of satin baptismal gear or bedroom-inspired fashion should steer clear from following in his Casper "The Friendly Ghost" kurta path.

You'd think actors and actresses with their naturally dramatic personalities would be the ones to stun us with award show style, but most of their blunders are just cases of poor decisions, not intentional jabs and outright odd choices like the folks who make up the music industry.