iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Allison Kilkenny

Allison Kilkenny

Posted: November 12, 2009 09:15 AM

A few days ago, I wrote about Goldman Sachs's transition from a bank holding company into a public relations disaster machine. I argued that Goldman's CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has been behaving like he wants to be attacked by a ferocious mob.

Now, it appears the Catholic church is determined to unseat Blankfein in the "Inexplicably Evil Organization Most Disconnected From Real People" category.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Yup, that's right. If gay folk can marry, the Catholic church refuses to feed the homeless.

Well, that all seems very reasonable. After all, the state would force the Catholic church to perform gay marriages, and celebrate the beastly unions, right?

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Oh. So this "Please Stop Being An Asshole, You Guys" law is really the thing that has sent the Archdiocese flying off a cliff. The child molestations, and filing sticky-fingered priests from diocese to diocese is all part of God's grand plan, but showing the slightest bit of consideration for gay couples is just too much.

Beyond being simply mean and intolerant, this is just a stupid strategy for the Catholic church to employ. It may be a symbol of religion, but the church is also a business that needs to expand its customer base, or it will become extinct like Greek polytheism or New Coke.

Young people, i.e. potential future Catholics, are very tolerant -- some might say accepting and supportive -- of gays and gay marriage:

2009-11-12-age1.jpg

And don't give me that "It's in the Bible so we can't change our beliefs!" crap. Religions stray from the Bible's teachings all the time the second people realize they're being unspeakably cruel to a society's sect. The Bible was used to legitimize slavery, and yet we don't do that anymore, so surely Catholics can make the same jump when it comes to gay marriage.

Yes, the Bible said something that one time about "if a many lieth with a man, he be in really big trouble," or something, but the Bible also says you'll burn in hell for eating shellfish, and I guarantee lobster-eaters crowd the pews every Sunday all across this great land.

Second, non-Catholic Christians are the largest group in the country today:

2009-11-12-ryrdravoce2wmnomyttyqa.jpg

Less than a quarter of all American adults identified as Catholic between January and June of this year.

The Catholic church got so desperate to expand its ranks that it recently offered Anglicans sanctuary under the Virgin Mary's skirt, supposedly to hide from all of the icky gays and lesbians the Anglican church has embraced (in a Christ-like fashion, some might say).

Anglicans passed on the offer. This includes "heads of churches in Africa and the developing world, where anti-gay sentiment is especially strong, as well as in Canada and the United States." The message being: we hate gays, but we still prefer to avoid you guys.

As the Catholic church continues its march toward antiquity, I won't be shedding any tears. In addition to preying on the fears and prejudices of the unenlightened masses, I have no tolerance for tax-exempt pyramid schemes that take money from poor people to build golden houses in Italy for a decrepit former Nazi youth, who now wears a funny hat and occasionally blathers in a dead language about hating gay people, suppressing women, and always -- always -- refusing to wear condoms.

What's so strange is that the Catholic church itself seems determined to perish. Attitudes toward gay people are dramatically changing in this country, and yet the church remains stuck in its corner, fingers in ears, eyes shut, refusing to accept that the tide is turning.

Update: In the original article, I wrote that Jesus condemned homosexuality. However, that's not true. The condemning homosexuality bit is written in Leviticus. Sorry, Jesus.

Cross-posted from Allison Kilkenny's blog. Also available on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Follow Allison Kilkenny on Twitter: www.twitter.com/allisonkilkenny

A few days ago, I wrote about Goldman Sachs's transition from a bank holding company into a public relations disaster machine. I argued that Goldman's CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has been behaving like he&n...
A few days ago, I wrote about Goldman Sachs's transition from a bank holding company into a public relations disaster machine. I argued that Goldman's CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has been behaving like he&n...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 626
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2 3 4 5  Next ›  Last »  (22 total)
09:03 AM on 11/16/2009
While the Church no longer uses Latin, MONEY still talks. Catholics need to withold donations until the Church decides to move ahead into the 16th century.
photo
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
BoyInBOYCOTT
12:38 AM on 11/16/2009
Either feed the poor because that' what your faith commands you to do.....or DON'T

Do it on your dime, and ask nothing from the government.

I'd love to see DC's open and affirming churches step in and feed the homeless, making the homobigotted Catholics look both cheap, and callous.
12:32 AM on 11/24/2009
"Either feed the poor because that' what your faith commands you to do.....or DON'T"
-The Holy CC is the largest worldwide charitable organization. They will continue to provide charity services and they always will.
"Do it on your dime, and ask nothing from the government."
-Well I guess you got lucky here it looks like thats whats happening...we'll politefully decline. Since you've gotten your way, can I ask a question? All of these people shouting about 'rights', and how come none of them consider our religious ones?? WHY, is this being forced on the CC? If the state and the country and the law, if everyone recognizes your same sex attractions- why is that not enough? Are we not entitled to our freedom of religion? And articles like this one, are just hypcritical...spewing hate for the CC and as a christian its saddening.
11:01 PM on 11/15/2009
Anyway, it would be unfortunate.

Presumably, the city government uses these (faith-based) organizations because it's relatively so cost effective- churches already have facilities and volunteer or cheap labor to provide services such as adoption, homelessness and health care.
"Catholic Charities, the church's social services arm...serves 68,000 people in the city, including the one-third of Washington's homeless people who go to city-owned shelters managed by the church. City leaders said the church is not the dominant provider of any particular social service, but the church pointed out that it supplements funding for city programs with $10 million from its own coffers"
10:54 PM on 11/15/2009
Misleading and poorly written, IMO. You may disagree, as I do, with the Catholic church on homosexuality and gay marriage. But confusing with irrelevant issues (pedophilic priests, Anglicans, population statistics etc.) and with such vitriol is wrong.

Read the WP article carefully enough, and the issue is that the new District law would force any organization having any contracts "Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city. "
further on:
...groups that receive city funds would be required to give same-sex couples medical benefits, open adoptions to same-sex couples and rent a church hall to a support group for lesbian couples. "

In other words, in their minds this would be a trojan horse or back door way forcing them to accept gay marriage. Essentially, each side accuses the other of "blackmail".

This follows on the heels of the Council rejecting an amendment that would have allowed individuals, based on their religious beliefs, to decline to provide services for same-sex weddings.

"Lets say an individual caterer is a staunch Christian and someone wants him to do a cake with two grooms on top," said council member Yvette M. Alexander (D-Ward 6), the sponsor of the amendment. "Why can't they say, based on their religious beliefs, 'I can't do something like that'?"
08:19 AM on 11/24/2009
Douglas, just wanted to tell you that I appreciate your insightful post!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
offred
A biocitizen is 3/5 of a corporate citizen
09:29 AM on 11/15/2009
"...but the church is also a business that needs to expand its customer base, or it will become extinct like Greek polytheism or New Coke."

Of course the church needs to expand its customer base; that's why it recently sponsored a five-day international seminar on the existence of extraterrestrial life. It's burned enough bridges with real people on earth; it's now planning to proselytise ET, Chewbacca, Vulcans, and Ferengi.
photo
Kache
Citizens, Unite!
04:28 AM on 11/15/2009
The Catholic Church's stand on issues makes perfectly good sense. Consider - the AVERAGE age of a nun in the U.S. is 70 years old, men going into the priesthood is at an all time low. With no one to run the churches the Church is doing the sensible thing - cut back on membership by chasing off members. Strictly a case of demand being tailored to meet supply.
11:21 PM on 11/14/2009
Jesus Christ would be rolling over in his grave, if he had one ! For a church, any church, to hate (inexplicable in itself), any group of people that much is really sad. As we all know the Bible also says not to work on Sunday, you can cut out the tongues of children who lie, if your wife is not a virgin you can kill her, and no pork or shellfish.
Show me how many Church leaders and other who consider themselves "good" Catholics follow these tenets .
photo
Kache
Citizens, Unite!
04:29 AM on 11/15/2009
"if he had one"

He had one. Didn't like it though. Got the heelll out of there.
12:09 AM on 11/21/2009
So according to your post, someone can't disagree with gay marriage without hating homosexuals? What a preposterous statement. It's clear from the venom spit out on this the responses to this article who the real haters are.
photo
Whinger
I'm Just Me!
09:00 PM on 11/14/2009
For I was a hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in

For I was a hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

Time changes everything!
10:28 PM on 11/14/2009
Passage in Matthew used to determine who goes to heaven and who doesn't. It says nothing about going to Church or denying a group of people their rights getting you into heaven.
photo
Whinger
I'm Just Me!
03:40 AM on 11/15/2009
The point is, as a Christian, one should care for those in need unconditionally.

Turning ones back to those in need because of the politics of a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with them, is hardly a Christian act.

The catholic church has evolved into a political machine which has caused it to move away from core Christian values!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
michiganms
07:20 PM on 11/14/2009
Real Christian of the Catholics. Explain the connection with feeding the homeless and gay rights?
11:05 PM on 11/14/2009
They don't want to be affiliated with either?
11:29 AM on 11/14/2009
When are we all going to grow up and realize that all these so called religious org.'s
want us to believe in there imaginary friend called god. They want us to believe that, even beyond our common sense nature, that some people need help in this life and they don't need unnecessary impediments, that they are the moral arbitrators and that we all should go along with there interpretations.

Why do we let religious org.'s dictate policy decisions, they need there non profit status looked at.

I am beginning to really hate there god
photo
DonJM
The narrower the mind, the broader the statement.
10:34 AM on 11/14/2009
It's certainly heartening to see the Catholic Church take this christian stance.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
One more Thing
10:40 AM on 11/14/2009
Would Hindus obey the law?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
One more Thing
10:23 AM on 11/14/2009
Wow this is a strong, while true, daring article. Loved the following:

"As the Catholic church continues its march toward antiquity, I won't be shedding any tears. In addition to preying on the fears and prejudices of the unenlightened masses, I have no tolerance for tax-exempt pyramid schemes that take money from poor people to build golden houses in Italy for a decrepit former Nazi youth, who now wears a funny hat and occasionally blathers in a dead language about hating gay people, suppressing women, and always -- always -- refusing to wear condoms."
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
AMERIKA
Husband, Parent, Sibling, Business Owner, Progress
10:19 AM on 11/14/2009
how Christian of them
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eirrac
08:45 AM on 11/14/2009
Isn't there something in the Bible like not judging or condemning others? Seems to me a lot of churches (not just Catholics and certainly including the religious right), are always picking and choosing who is okay and who is not. Wish they'd ask themselves the question they're always asking others: "What would Jesus do?" Jesus wouldn't judge those that were different, nor would he ignore them. He cared about the poor, the sick, the prisoners.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
One more Thing
10:25 AM on 11/14/2009
What would Confucious say?
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
qthedancer
07:41 AM on 11/14/2009
I suggest that a thorough reading and a sincere attempt to understand the spirit of the New Testament (Christ isn't in the OT), especially the parts that record Christ's DIRECT teaching as opposed to the interpretations by his followers would result in an immediate decision to rescind the threat (yes, I said threat) of blackmail (yes, I said blackmail) by the Archdiocese. Love, peace, compassion: the essence of Christ's teachings ought to be taken seriously by anyone who professes to be Christian. And last time I looked, Catholics were calling themselves Christians. To all of the Catholics and members of other Christian denominations who do not approve of the threat to discontinue charitable works, I commend you.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
One more Thing
10:26 AM on 11/14/2009
I suggest a thorough reading of the Constitution ...
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
qthedancer
11:29 AM on 11/14/2009
Also good.
10:30 PM on 11/14/2009
Bill Maher once said that with all the intolerance and damnation of the OT from the Christians and no forgiving, caring, and loving in the NT, that Christians are really Jews they just don't know it.