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Allison Kilkenny

Allison Kilkenny

Posted: February 28, 2008 10:18 PM

Mitt Romney's Kids Enlist! ...I'm Just Kidding


While reading about Prince Harry sashaying back from Afghanistan (remember Afghanistan, everyone?) after his three months of duty, I was reminded of a certain politician and his finely-groomed pack of Mormon sons.

If you get past the fact that apparently soldiers can bring their own hair gel to war, and have time to style their red manes into an intense trajectory of spikes, Harry looks like he tried his best to fit in, act mild and unimportant, and do his job. That's more than the Romneys can say.

See, the Romneys didn't enlist, despite the fact that Mitt said the ONLY reason they hadn't rushed overseas was because - gee golly gosh - it was just so DARN important they help him with his campaign!

Well, he didn't win, nor did he "step aside" as he claimed. He lost. He lost despite the fact that he spent more than $1million per delegate. He showed himself to be a racially insensitive, wildly out-of-touch corporatist, who thinks so little of the serfs crammed into Iraqi desert bunkers that he compared his sons campaigning for his pathetic presidential run to soldiers serving in the armed forces.

Mitt Romney compared his sons riding in his air-conditioned bus with the service and sacrifice of soldiers. He did so with a straight face, despite almost 4,000 bodies having arrived back home (an increasing number of them suicides), plus anywhere from 23,000 to 100,000 wounded, and approximately 80,000 Iraqi civilian deaths from violence, which is a conservative estimate.

Perhaps those startling statistics, coupled with his presidential loss, would inspire Mitt to take his boys down to the recruitment office to enlist in the war, which Republicans like Romney claim is going swimmingly. No such luck. Instead, Mitt stayed silent, which in all fairness, was his only choice because he had firmly attached his thin lips to the teats of Washington's lobbyists.

Mitt Romney is a terrible politician. He's a terrible liar, too. In debate, part of Mitt's problem was that he couldn't keep his lies straight. He flip-flopped constantly, and McCain tore into him every chance he got. Mike Huckabee even got in on the Mitt-bashing, and if Mike Huckabee can out-politician you, you're in trouble.

But Mitt is a good father. He's a good father because he wants to protect his sons from a stupid war, which they could very likely die in. He knows their lives are too precious to waste on such a silly commitment. Unfortunately, Mitt's arrogance allows him to believe other people's children should die for that same mission of greed.

That's not true, of course, and if Mitt and his fellow politicians (Republican and Democrat) continue to vote for this wasteful, illegal war, they better plan on enlisting their own brood first.

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