It was a party I didn't want to attend. Despite the nice summer evening, all I wanted to do was go home. But there I was, standing amongst a crowd of people feeling slightly alien. Forward a few hours later, and I'm dancing with a guy who not only could dance but had such a beautiful smile, he made me stay longer. I didn't think anything of it, except that he had something about him I really liked. But that was until he told me his age.
I could deal with three to eight years younger but 10 plus was a big age gap for my conservative, borderline militant ideas about love. I'm an open-minded person living in an open society so was quite surprised by my own thinking, but there you go. I guess I bought into the idea that it is only men who have younger partners. It is okay for them but not so for women. But do you know when you have a feeling that somehow you have just connected with another person? I had experienced that feeling only once before and I was very aware of when and how it had happened and I was certain it was happening again, with him. And so, on my way home, I thought in some of the greatest love stories where age was not an issue. For example, Khadijah, the first wife of Prophet Muhammad. He married her when he was 25 and she was already 40. It is well documented that they had a very happy, loving and monogamous marriage. I also thought in the genius Croatian pianist, Ivo Pogorelich, who at 22 years old married the love of his life, Aliza Kezeradze, 41. He was with her till she passed away and still remembers her to this day as his greatest love and biggest influence.
Since when falling in love has anything to do with age? That must have been my dream that night because the morning after the party, a phone call woke me up and it was him asking what I was doing that Sunday. The rest, as they say, is history. When two people love each other, there are no barriers that can stop the feeling that connects them. Love is free and no amount of money can buy you love, it knows of no race, no color, no religion and no age, so when it knocks on your door, why repress it based on the fact that you have been in this planet longer than your beloved?
Having a younger partner is not about "enjoying an experience" bound for failure. All relationships are bound for failure if there is no respect or trust. Hardly ever, a relationship ends because of age. Lots of people whose partners are of same or similar age break up because love is either gone, they fell for someone else, or they simply got bored with each other. There are times when both parties know the relationship won't last as they don't want to make the commitment but still they want to enjoy the experience. This happens at all stages of a person's life and not just in relationships where the woman is the older one. Women tend to analyze a lot, the why he is not calling, texting, committing, and the rest. The answer is plain simple: He doesn't want to. This "lack of commitment" or "not ready for a relationship yet" situation, has nothing to do with the year we were born or even maturity. The timing and the extra connection are simply not there for someone to want more. In any case, age is always out of the equation in love matters.
In our lifetime, there is no such thing as "forever," and the same applies to relationships. At least, if "forever" is the intention, then that's enough. Afterwards, it is up to life to decide whether forever is two years, two months or till death do you part. Life is a journey and our dreams, feelings, goals and aspirations remain regardless of age. The older woman subject is like the online dating taboo of the early 2000s; forward 15 years and nobody blinks an eye if a couple mentions they met online. People fall in love with other people, they don't fall in love with other people's ages. We are made to believe that it is best to have a relationship with someone older or same age because not only would the person be more mature and have more experience but because otherwise, your partner may leave you for a younger woman. Utterly infantile unfounded fears, and guess what? A younger man can fall in love with you too.
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