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Amanda de Cadenet

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'The Conversation': What Women Can Teach Each Other

Posted: 04/24/2012 8:18 am

WATCH: Jane Fonda Talks Love And Wholeness On "The Conversation With Amanda de Candenet"


Conversations: Aren't we having enough of those, you ask?

We're always talking, tweeting, texting, posting a status update, checking in, sharing and, if you're like me, having conversations in your heads with people who aren't even in the room, saying the things we wish we'd said.

But really, when was the last time you sat down face to face, no distractions, no devices and had a good old-fashioned heart to heart?

I did it last week. I was having a rough day, feeling overwhelmed with responsibility and fed up, so one of my favorite girlfriends came over, we put our devices on silent and sat with out feet tucked under us at either end of my sofa for 3 hours straight.

Something about seeing her opposite me and watching her face as she listened to me, reading her internal responses to my words, was so comforting. I experienced being truly seen and heard, as did she, and when she went home at 1 am wondering how the time flew by so fast, my mood was drastically different.

Why?

Without judgement, we talked, listened, discussed the evolving theories we both had about love, family, parenting, body image, money, change and friendship. We checked in and shared for real things that could not be expressed in 140 characters.

If we connect and realize that we are not the center of the universe and that we are not on this journey alone, if we slow down long enough to pause, disconnect from distraction and connect to one another, there are unlimited benefits.

I believe women need to hear stories and see images that they can identify with, not media-fabricated ideals that even the " role models" themselves cant live up to. Misrepresenting or "bending " the truth only causes insecurity in everyone, and while I understand that by nature we don't want to be vulnerable, a strong woman can look at her shortcomings and own them.

Two weeks ago Ashely Judd spoke up, told the truth, was bold and unafraid to pull back the curtain on an unspoken pact between women that encourages pulling each other down, criticizing and comparing to make ourselves feel better. She pointed out that it was not only the media who needed to be accountable, but asked that women stop competing and being so cruel to one another. I applaud her for using her voice wisely, and sharing her personal discoveries openly so that we, as observers can benefit from it.

This is the essence of the multi-media platform for women called "The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet."

Every woman on this show has a story to tell, has lived through something that taught them immensely valuable lessons and has been gracious enough to share the findings with us so we can benefit too.

My hope is that in this honest forum, executive produced by my pal Demi Moore and premiering on Lifetime and online this Thursday, April 26, at 11pm, you will hear authentic stories from women you think you know and women who could be your sister, your friend, your neighbor, all addressing different facets of a woman's life.

You may relate, disagree, empathize, cry or laugh, but my guess is that you'll come to recognize as I certainly do that although our outsides may be different, on the inside we are all the same and speaking the Universal Language of women.

You will see women sitting on a couch and talking the same way I know you have done many times before and as I did with my pal the other night. Nothing complicated. No sets, just my living room. No agenda, no promotion, just plain and simple conversation.

Jane Fonda was at the top of my list of women to meet and the only time I felt nervous about interviewing someone.

She is one of the most dynamic women I have ever had the honor of talking to.

We discussed the very common issue of women desperately needing a man/or woman to validate them and the dangers of a life spent in pursuit of that.

From all the conversations I have had on this topic, I can say that women have done a lot of damage behind getting someone to love them so they feel worthy.

I have seen eating disorders, sex and love addiction, physical and mental health issues all stem from this deep need to be be loved and not getting that need met.

Jane's interview offers some hope and practical solutions to healing this wound, and I was greatly relieved to hear that at age 73 Jane was finally rid of the affliction and felt she was "whole." Her wish is that younger women will hear her story and start "reflective work' on themselves NOW and not wait another day.

Hear Jane's story on "The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet," premiering Thursday, April 26, at 11pm on Lifetime.

 

Follow Amanda de Cadenet on Twitter: www.twitter.com/amandadecadenet

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