THE BLOG
01/15/2013 07:38 pm ET Updated Mar 17, 2013

Joy Secret Number Five: Generosity

It's our pie -- not my pie!

How many times have you encountered a situation where there is a scarcity mentality? Where people "hang on to" their pie with a vice-like grip -- as if life will be over if they lose a little of it.

The fear of not having enough rules their lives.

Do you have a generous spirit? Do you give love generously? And freely -- that's the critical component. It's very rare for someone to actually master unconditional acceptance, let alone love!

Can you truly give love to someone and expect nothing in return? Unconditional means to give freely -- with no strings attached, with no expectations of a return or repayment.

Are you generous with yourself?

Do you take the time to work on your life? To slow down and step back, to learn, grow, develop, see, and deal with the fears that are ruling your life?

It's so easy to fall into the trap of rushing. We do everything in a hurry and always feel overwhelmed, although we never seem to accomplish anything. We have no idea how we feel or who we are. That is losing ourselves in our lives.

Or do you have a teeny bit of a martyr streak that makes you do stuff for others (in the wrong spirit if you dig deeply enough), fail to set boundaries, and you end up feeling unappreciated and undervalued?

Generosity, or the lack of it, plays a huge role in every area of our lives, yet we rarely openly discuss it or explore it -- or teach it specifically to our children!

Do you give people the benefit of the doubt?
Do you try to see things form someone else's perspective?
Do you give your time -- often the most important quality you have -- freely?
Do you give yourself the time you need to recharge your batteries?
Do you give from your heart -- lovingly, with tolerance and patience?

Are you fearful of losing anything -- love, possessions, respect? Fear will block the flow of generosity, love and blessings in your life!

Being able to receive as well as give!

The other half of giving generously is being able to receive! Most of us need to work on both! Very giving people often have a hard time receiving graciously. They feel deep down perhaps they are not worthy of being given anything -- let alone love.

Often, our motivation for giving and not receiving is that we don't feel worthy of being loved, and so by trying really hard to get everyone else to love us, maybe it will make us feel better.

The flow between giving and receiving is really the flow of love.

Do you let others feel the joy of giving to you? Of seeing your face sparkle as you open their gift? It may not be wrapped in paper!

Do you lift up other people's spirits with your words and voice tones?

Do you focus on what is right and not all the things that are wrong?

At the end of the day, the pie is huge! There is more than enough for everyone -- it's like the loaves and the fishes story in the Bible.

It might seem like you have little or nothing to start with, but generosity and love makes whatever you have grow and blossom -- and the more you give, the more there is to give! And the more you receive, without expecting it.

Remember... you need to give to yourself so you can recharge and keep giving to others!

Your mission

So your mission today after reading this is to immediately check the spirit in which you do everything today. Are you being generous -- giving people the benefit of the doubt, assuming the best, and giving time -- to yourself and others?

Ask yourself if you are being generous with yourself and your beliefs about yourself. Are they really true, those beliefs you have?

Are they yours? Or did they come from someone else in your life when you were little or vulnerable?

So many things to explore. Isn't it exciting? Aren't we blessed to have this opportunity?

The generosity and love of the spiritual realms is beyond our comprehension, but we can be grateful for it, have compassion for ourselves and others, be hopeful that we can dramatically increase our "generosity intelligence," and have reverence for their patience, guidance and love!

And this is just the fifth week of our journey to joy -- it's so much more than just happiness!

Zooties
Amanda Gore

For more by Amanda Gore, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

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