THE BLOG
01/17/2013 04:59 pm ET Updated Mar 18, 2013

The Butterfly That Lands on Her Feet

A lot of young, smart, focused entrepreneurs have been asking me for advice recently because of my public "transformation." I have had so many people reach out to me from all different parts of my life and tell me, "your article spoke to me," "I feel exactly the same way," or "I had no idea someone else was going through this." The way I write my posts is I talk to inspiring, smart people all week long about life and experiences and am genuinely interested in what a lot of people have to tell me about their stories, then in a stream-of-consciousness fashion, decide to sit down and write whatever comes to my mind that week. I think it is a bit of a collective identity of all of the smart, wonderful people in my life on a weekly basis.

I don't think that what I have been through is any different than what most people go through, but I have not been afraid to talk about it. Someone recently told me a quote, "Student says 'I am very discouraged, What should I do?' Master says, 'Encourage others.'" Essentially, this is what I have been doing and what I try to do. I want everyone to realize they are not alone in what they are going through, even the smallest things that bother you are still valued and should be spoken about, but they should also be yours to figure out without a peanut gallery of others telling you how you should feel and how you should act.

I felt misunderstood, taken advantage of, and mad at everyone around me for doing things "against my belief system" -- and yet in reality had no idea what my belief system was. I change and grow up a little bit more every minute, I am becoming a "different person" every hour, and I step up a new step every day. When you are constantly moving, "hustling," and succeeding, when your life starts to transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly and you only have 10 days (or maybe 10 minutes) to be in your cocoon, you need to take some time to give yourself space and distance from everyone else to figure out who you are. Find your outlet; mine is writing. I use writing as a catharsis, I don't ask others what to write, and even though I am inspired by their guidance, I take it for what it means to me and create it into something that is my own. I share my journey to hopefully encourage others to step into their light and to remind myself to not be afraid to step into mine.

If you continue to ask everyone else who you are, without having any understanding of who you want to be, you will be swept away by the wind with no direction. You will not have anything to anchor yourself to, and will find yourself in pain and frustration, listening to people who tell you they know you more than anyone else in the world and are looking out for you. While this may be true, if you are not looking out for yourself, you can end up making the wrong turn, in the wrong place, or maybe in the place you thought was wrong but that was completely right for you.

I am a normal person who is learning to settle into my life. Learning how to settle into being OK with being in one place, having a home, committing to people, experiences and goals which matter to me, committing to myself, and when I am ready to fly, I know I will always have a place inside me making sure I land on my two feet.

For more by Amanda Slavin, click here.

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