THE BLOG

How to Love Unconditionally

06/24/2015 10:59 am ET | Updated Jun 23, 2016

"To be brave is to love someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return." Madonna

Loving unconditionally is a commitment to love an imperfect person. Remember you are an imperfect person too. This type of love does not include revenge or purposely hurting someone. Loving unconditionally is scary and vulnerable. In reality love causes pain and hurt. To love someone with complete vulnerability that they can cause hurt in your life is scary. Being vulnerable while loving wholeheartedly is part of living fully. Love with your whole heart and mind. Be open to the magical experiences that love can bring even if it is just for a short moment in time. This type of love is worth it!

Loving unconditionally is the commitment at the end of the day to another human being that creates long lasting relationships. It includes sacrifice and commitment. However, this does not mean that you are to accept toxic or abusive behaviors. Sometimes we must love someone from a distance to protect ourselves.

How can you love unconditionally? Here are 5 ways to start your journey of loving unconditionally in your relationships.

1. Forgiveness - Unconditional love says you hurt me, you disappointed me but I forgive you anyways. I love you with your flaws and imperfections. Every human being is imperfect. We can not live up to false expectations of never making a mistake. To love unconditionally means to acknowledge the fact that everyone will fail. People will hurt us. It is our decision to continue to love this person or to walk away. Forgiveness is necessary to create healthy long term relationships. By no way am I saying that you should stay in a relationship that is abusive or unhealthy. However, even healthy life giving relationships will be faced with the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is freeing especially for the one offering the forgiveness. It can be incredibly hard to forgive someone that has caused pain in our heart. However, holding on to a negative situation and letting it reside in your heart is toxic.

2. Self Love- To love others fully we must learn to love ourselves first. How we treat ourselves is a reflection in how we will let others treat us. Love yourself unconditionally. Acknowledge your weaknesses, your failures, your mistakes. Now rise up above all those and know how worthy you are of unconditional love. You are worthy of true healthy love and commitment.

3. Sacrifice- Unconditional love includes sacrifice. We sometimes sacrifice our own wants for the benefit of others. Take a mother and child relationship. This is one of the most beautiful forms of unconditional love and sacrifice. We may sacrifice a temporary want for the well being of our relationships. Do not sacrifice your self worth or respect.

4. Vulnerability- Being vulnerable can bring fear into our hearts. We fear being rejected or not understood. However, when we fully open our hearts and live with openness we let more love in. Vulnerability is saying I love you enough to be open and honest even though I fear rejection.
"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.
Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." Brene Brown

5. Wholeheartedness - Love with your whole heart. Love fully and passionately. Loving unconditionally means that you will continue to love this person with your whole heart not a piece here and there. Love them when they are in a bad mood, love them when they are sick or depressed, love them when they are unlovable. Share your heart with them so that they know the beautiful feelings that you have for them.

6. Courage - To love unconditionally takes courage. A whole lot of courage! Especially when our heart has been broken it takes courage to keep loving, to keep trying and to never give up. When we have experienced great heart break it is often hard to open our hearts again. Loving unconditionally is one of the bravest things you will ever do.