I've been riding a mountain bike for a few years. I use the term "riding" loosely because my experience often includes "pushing" my bike over boulders, "walking" it down steep slopes, and "scooting" across narrow bridges like a toddler on a toy. So more accurately, "I've been ride-push-scoot-walking a mountain bike for a few years."
My 11-year-old son, Sam, rides too. And until this year, I held back so Sam could keep up.
But there comes an unexpected moment in a boy mom's life when her cuddly, kissable, rough and tough little guy turns into a man-child. Like over night. Seriously, he goes to bed in footed pajamas and wakes up emotional, awkward, and aromatic.
Sam is suddenly fearless and built like a draft horse. He dominates on a mountain bike and doesn't bother to hold back, so I can keep up.
He takes on roots, rocks, bridges, and loves the thrill of the down hill run. Which leaves me eating his dust until....We go up that hill.
He doesn't like the incline. He moves his bike over, and makes room for mine.
And may I say... I totally kick it on the hills. The obvious reason is I'm old and hills are slower and safer than flying down the trail at mach speed risking injury to my vital organs.
But the real reason I can handle the hills is that I've learned endurance. I know to let the slope make me stronger. I've realized the purpose is not to flatten the hill, but to simply make peace with the climb.
I don't know how long or high the hill will go, but I've trudged up enough mountains to know they don't go on forever. Eventually, I reach the top. When I do... I get to enjoy the incredible view. I look back and down, over my shoulder, feeling satisfied (and even a little smug) that I didn't give up. I catch my breath and take a big inhale before I start the next leg of the journey.
When I'm on my bike and in my life, I approach each hill in a similar way. I gear down, take my time, vet out the smoothest route, keep a steady pedal- rotation after rotation.
But the most important thing I've learned is to change my inner dialogue. It's drastically different than it used to be- which was reckless and rotten.
Nowadays, I openly cheer myself on. I don't care if it sounds silly. It's wonderful and it works. If you come up behind me on a hill, you'll experience me panting and saying something like...
You can do it, girl. (insert: grunt) You can do this! (insert wheeze) Good job! (insert: gasp) You will make this hill your bitch! (insert: serious biker growl) Keep going! (insert: spit) You're almost there. (insert: grunt again) Almost... Almost... Almost... Awesome! (insert: heave, gasp, heave, gasp, repeat) You did it! (insert: 2 finger kiss lifted to the sky like I just won Olympic Gold).
(Ah-hem. Describing this to you now, I realize the more likely reason my son lets me go ahead of him on the hills.)
No matter. It's my process and I'm owning it.
And I wonder, what is your process for climbing hills? Do you take them slow and steady, gearing down, being kind to yourself?
Or do you climb hills like I used to- kicking and screaming, berating and belittling yourself, trying to flatten the immutable?
If so, can I extend you an invitation?
Stop.
Pull over to the side.
Break this stride.
Reassess your process.
Because hills are an inevitable part of life, right? So why not do them well?
I remind Sam, "We have to go up to enjoy the ride down."
But what I really want to teach him (barring the exasperated sigh and eye-roll) is that, "The downhill coast makes you a good rider, but the uphill climb makes you a great one."
This article first published on The Purpose Dweller Project. Download the free book now, "Why am I here? a simple plan for purpose."
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.