This December 9th is the due date of a woman I will probably never meet. She lives ("lives"!? -- "exists") in a tarpaulin-tent in some woods behind a convenience store, in a Maryland town a few miles north of where I sit right now. Few of our clients are expectant women, but it's not unheard of.
Our homelessness-outreach team has been working with this woman for months, trying to get her to seek safety for herself, for her baby. When I heard about her last August, I -- Suburban Mother of Carefully Tended Children -- rather blithely assumed that she would find some place to land, to have her baby. I don't celebrate Christmas but I kind of believe in the Christmas Story, you know? No room in the inn, okay, but surely there is a warm manger nearby?
A recent conversation with Sue, Bethesda Cares' Executive Director, brought me up short.
Sue was walking up and down the halls of our offices, making sure no staffer had information more current than hers. "Best places for someone with no money having a baby? Anyone? Anything new I don't know about?" She was waiting to text any stone discovered unturned to our outreach team, who was out in the field, literally, in contact with the woman.
"Can't she go to a shelter?" I asked, still the rookie. I hit my keyboard, typing frantically, searching for answers, emailing friends for ideas. I barely looked up as I kicked into high gear, ready to find a safe path for this mother-to-be. "Why isn't she in a shelter? Shouldn't she be in a shelter?"
Sue said, "Nope. She went to women's shelter a while ago, hated it; too crowded, too desperate. She didn't feel safe. Won't go back. I'm looking for a bed for her at X House," she said, naming a more home-like emergency shelter, "but I have to convince them that imminent child birth constitutes an emergency."
In my job, I interact with a lot of people in unreasonable amounts of pain and despair every single workday, and let me tell you, I bear that pain because what I bear in listening is not even in the galaxy of bearing what they are experiencing. But this particular conversation brought out the mama bear in me, so as our work day moved on, I kept pestering Sue with approaches, ideas and what I hoped were innovative suggestions for this woman, until Sue finally sat me down for a chat.
"Amy," Sue said. "We will do whatever we can to keep her and that baby safe, we are doing all that we can," she said, and then paused. "Look. You have to realize something, and I know that this is hard to hear," she hesitated, searching for words, maybe in response to my frozen expression, maybe in anticipation of what she was about to say: "But the fact is that pregnancy is not always a warm, fuzzy experience, with a soft yellow blanket at the end of it. This woman we're trying to help today. This pregnant woman, she drinks, she smokes, she does who-knows-what. She just does not think about having a 'baby.' For her, pregnancy is basically a temporary medical condition to endure, and to somehow deal with. Birth, baby, done. The way she is living, she does not think in terms of the future. She just can't. She struggles to get through each day. And each day, right now, includes a swelling belly. That's really all she can face."
"But what about the baby? What happens to the baby?" I asked, my voice rising. "Is she going to raise the baby in the woods? She can't raise a baby living under a tarp. Do you know what the temperature is today? Can't, like, the police do something?"
"Like, arrest her for being homeless and pregnant?" Sue gave me a very small smile and let a silence settle between us before she spoke again. "We're doing everything we can to bring her into a safe space. She said she's planning to give the child up for adoption. We're trying to steer her there."
Sue waited patiently as I sat there, stricken, processing.
******
As I type this post, three days later, I'm still working on it.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.