Whether your mother-in-law is a constant complainer, your boss is an angry cynic, or friend is a pessimistic downer, dealing with toxic people can be unavoidable. But the way you respond to toxic people is your choice.
If you're not careful, toxic people can negatively influence the way you think, feel, and behave. They can introduce unnecessary stress into your life and cause chaos that will drag you down. Here are nine telltale signs toxic people are getting the best of you:
1. You Talk About Them a Lot
Grumbling to your co-workers about your rude boss or complaining to your spouse about that self-absorbed relative takes time and energy. Talking about toxic people when they're not around gives them more power over your life.
Whether you're dealing with a master manipulator or the office gossip, toxic people can stir up strong emotions. If you're not careful, the stress and frustration can easily turn to rage. When a toxic individual gets the best of you, you may feel like you're not in control of your emotions.
3. Your Self-Esteem Dwindles
Toxic people are often rude, insulting, and downright degrading. And sometimes, it can be tempting to think things like, "My father makes me feel bad about myself." But ultimately, your self-worth is up to you and should never be dependent on someone else.
4. You Blame Them for Your Behavior
If you fall prey to a toxic person's manipulation, you may be tempted to blame them for the choices you make. Placing blame for what's going on in your life, however, is a clear sign that a toxic person has too much power over you. Accept personal responsibility for how you spend your time and whom you spend it with.
5. You Dread Spending Time With Them
Feelings of dread can consume a lot of your time and energy. Whether you're going to a party with a toxic relative, or you're attending a meeting with a toxic co-worker, allowing that event to ruin the hours--or perhaps even days--leading up to it is a sign that a toxic person is all-consuming.
6. You Stoop to Their Level
If you've started thinking, "If you can't beat them, join them," you may start behaving in a way that isn't in accordance with your values. Stooping to a toxic person's level often comes as a last resort, but it isn't an effective coping strategy. Ultimately, it will only create more chaos in your life.
7. You Don't Set Healthy Boundaries
A toxic individual's manipulative and aggressive tactics can make it difficult to set healthy boundaries. You may be taken off-guard by a co-worker's audacity or left speechless by your friend's harsh words. But without healthy boundaries, it's impossible to protect yourself emotionally from their grasp.
8. You Resort to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Pouring yourself a drink or indulging in some extra helpings of comfort food may make you feel better in the moment. But over the long term, those unhealthy coping strategies can cause more problems. If you're resorting to quick fixes to help deal with the stress, a toxic individual may have power over your life for years to come.
9. Your Relationships Suffer
Yelling at your kids to release your tension, or arguing with your spouse because you came home in a bad mood after dealing with a toxic individual, can cause serious damage. If you're not careful, one individual's unhealthy behavior could infiltrate your other relationships and cause them to suffer.
Limit a Toxic Person's Influence
If toxic people are getting the best of you, it's important to limit their influence. In some cases, that may mean refusing to waste time thinking about that person. In more serious cases, it may mean cutting a toxic person out of your life.
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, a bestselling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.