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Amy Weber

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Into the Abyss: One Filmmaker's Journey Into the Bully Crisis

Posted: 05/18/2012 4:05 pm

When I was just 6 years old, a boy in my kindergarten class bullied me physically. It started off just like any other school friendship, but once I started spending time at his house, things drastically changed. He would lock me in his trundle bed and threaten to hit me, and he eventually threw me into the cement face-first, damaging four of my top teeth, for not doing what he demanded. I once told his mother how he was treating me, and she denied that her son could ever do such things. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents what was happening, so I stayed silent. The day he threw me into the sidewalk, I could no longer hide what was happening. My parents made sure I was safe from him from that day forward, but the damage of his actions would stay with me for a long time. At 6 years old, I declared that I would never allow someone to hurt me again.

Less than a year later we moved to another city for my father's work. I met another young boy who lived across the street who quickly became my friend. This time, though, I was the boss. And I liked how that felt. I myself became a young bully, controlling others and calling the shots. With this new approach to life, I can say that I didn't have many friends. I would pretend that I didn't care, but I was hurting, which I could only express through anger. I didn't necessarily pick on other kids; I was just a force to be reckoned with. It was terribly sad. And so was I.

Reaching junior high offered me a chance to grow and change my ways. I truly wanted to, but I didn't want to give up the perceived power I had gained. So I became an advocate, a crusader for friends or other kids who were being picked on. No one messed with anyone who was friends with me. In a way that reputation has followed me well into my adult years.

Now 43 years old, with many years of healing behind me, I have learned to live with more trust and kindness. My journey is just one of so many others out there living with the effects of bullying. And it serves as my inspiration to end bullying in American schools once and for all.

For over 15 years now, I have been writing and producing educational documentaries on issues from teen suicide and violence to eating disorders and addiction. My most gratifying projects have always been the ones focused on youth social issues and the human condition. It breaks my heart every time I run into a child with so much pain and anger in their heart that lashing out is their only way to express it. I know that kid. I was that kid. And so I have dedicated my career and part of my life to be one of the voices that will end bullying in America.

This blog is my way to share with you the one project that I feel is the most important one of my life: The Bully Chronicles, a movement toward change in the form of a narrative feature film shot in an unscripted, documentary style. The film will feature real teens, teachers, and parents who are living the experience of bullying each and every day. For the first time, the story will be told from the bully's perspective.

I am honored to share a weekly blog with you during the development, production, and post-production phases of this game-changing film. I believe with all my soul that the time has come to raise our voices and speak the truth about how cruelty can destroy the human spirit and crumble our will to keep going. I pledge to be there for you, in any way I can, to bring an end to intimidation and terror, and to spread the power of human kindness wherever I go.

Together we can do it. Today is the day to begin. Won't you follow along on this journey with me?

Peace and love,

Amy S. Weber
thebullychronicles.com

 
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When I was just 6 years old, a boy in my kindergarten class bullied me physically. It started off just like any other school friendship, but once I started spending time at his house, things drastical...
When I was just 6 years old, a boy in my kindergarten class bullied me physically. It started off just like any other school friendship, but once I started spending time at his house, things drastical...
 
 
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11:13 AM on 05/24/2012
I love the angle you're taking with this film, the perspective of the bully being the victim--truly refreshing AND helpful! It's a wonderful, wonderful project that I'm sure will mark the world with good. It's so powerfully amazing when we decide use our personal inspiration to do good things!
08:28 AM on 05/22/2012
What a timely film!! I hope it's message reaches people and encourages a dialogue that everyone can benefit from.
10:23 AM on 05/21/2012
Love that you are exposing this topic on so many levels Amy and taking the time and effort to do so. If it makes a difference in just one person's life then what an amazing effect. Keep going and we will share in spreading the word and the Chronicles.
11:11 AM on 05/20/2012
Am I the only person who reads this and thinks this is one of the most self absorbed people on the planet? Me, My, I, I, I, I, I...and then she's going to treat us to a weekly blog? Oh brother! First of all bullying is terrible and any awareness on the topic is incredible and thank you for shining a light on this for all of us Ms. Weber, but please do us another favor and save us from your blog and opportunistic, self-servicing spew. Simply shine a light on the issue and share their stories and craft a beautiful film on this subject but please save us from your melodrama. Looking her up I see this is Ms Webers way of gaining publicity for both herself and her little film company. You'll see her pr trail a mile long from the Southfield Mayor incident. Shameful.
11:59 AM on 05/21/2012
MDavis, you don't know Amy, but you sure are quick to jump to a bunch of conclusions about her from a few short paragraphs of a written introduction to readers who don't know who she is or why she's writing this blog.

You on the other hand, come across as a boor, at best. What's the matter, her description of bullying hit a little too close to home?
01:58 PM on 05/19/2012
I can't wait to see this. Amy is a truly unique, passionate advocate for change, and is a beautiful human being as well. She walks the walk like few people I know. Spread the word.
10:24 AM on 05/19/2012
"I once told his mother how he was treating me, and she denied that her son could ever do such things."

That's a big part of the reason that bullying just keeps going on and on and on and on and on.
10:29 PM on 05/18/2012
Is it enough to help victims of bullying? Let's face it, bullying has been around forever, just as Amy had lived both sides 30 years ago. Bullying is getting worse and has been for years for obvious technology reasons. Documentaries, school programs, anti-bully movements, all in the name of the victim are working hard, but are they working? The Bully Chronicles is not just a film, or a movement, but a new way to look at this crisis. Its time to put the bully in the spotlight and shine some light on the deeper issues we're all so afraid to really look at and talk about. Love you Amy. 
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08:47 PM on 05/18/2012
I'm biracial--the only biracial kid in my mostly white class--and kids would corner me on the playground, forcing me to answer the question "Would you rather be black or white?" When I started crying, the taunting got worse. One day, I got tired of the abuse and stood up for myself. They asked me their question, I answered "Purple," and defiantly punched the girl who'd asked it. I though they'd leave me alone, but it only got worse and worse. The bullying followed me from middle school into high school, where my depression worsened. I tried to soothe it by experimenting with drugs and alcohol. It was a downward spiral with no end in sight. The day I turned 16, I woke up and decided to take control of my own life.

It sounds terrible to say that dropping out at 16 was the best decision I ever made, but it's true. I took a few months, got my head together and started the next semester at an alternative high school where all the kids were just like me. I excelled and graduated with honors. I've come so far, but those old wounds still sting. In the end, I took it upon myself to get out of that environment. Many kids don't have the opportunity to that, suffering in silence until it's too late. A total change in the way we think is what we need. The Bully Chronicles could be what we've all been waiting for.
10:27 AM on 05/19/2012
" In the end, I took it upon myself to get out of that environment. Many kids don't have the opportunity to that, suffering in silence until it's too late."

You're right that many kids don't have the opportunity to get out of those hellish environment, so that's one major thing that MUST change. Kids have to be able to get out of the bullying environment. Schools need to help with that.
08:20 PM on 05/18/2012
Is it enough to help victims of bullying? Let's face it, bullying has been around forever, just as Amy had lived both sides 30 years ago. Bullying is getting worse and has been for years for obvious technology reasons. Documentaries, school programs, anti-bully movements, all in the name of the victim are working hard, but are they working? The Bully Chronicles is not just a film, or a movement, but a new way to look at this crisis. Its time to put the bully in the spotlight and shine a spotlight on the deeper issues we're all so afraid to really look at and talk about. Love you Amy.