Miss USA Would Make A Perfect Teen Pop Star

Donald Trump has given us the ultimate Christmas reality show by offering Miss USA a second chance to keep her title. We had tears, and an upcoming trip to rehab to cure her of "underage drinking." Maybe they'll even send her to Refuge to cure her of any desire to kiss other girls. Personally, I think the whole pageant culture is ridiculous and wish an adult version of Olive from "Little Miss Sunshine" would have taken the tiara instead of a young woman raised on the pageant circuit, collecting donations from her small town shops so she could wear evening gowns and tape her breasts into place.

Unlike other young pop stars, Miss USA has the added pressure of being an official "role model," which means behavior such as underage drinking (and kissing other girls) is prohibited. She is also a role model for how girls should look in a bathing suit, how they should walk and wear evening gowns, how they should have some sort of talent (loosely defined), and be able to tell beauty pageant judges how she would cure world hunger.

The irony for me is that until now, most girls (outside of the pageant crowd) would not have been able to tell you her name (Tara Conner), or Miss America's name or Miss Teen USA's name. So she was kind of a meaningless role model. If her goal was fame, she should have told The Donald, "Thanks, but no thanks." Tara Conner proved she has the partying chops to hang out with Paris, Britney, Lindsay or the other Tara and keep her name in the blogs indefinitely depending on the number of pantiless paparazzi shots she can garner. She might even find a corporate sponsor like Ford to unwittingly show up in searches next to her party pics. She still has a shot -- maybe she'll be caught again post rehab, sporting a sobriety chip as she guzzles down cosmos in some other "big city." If she is, she can join the young celebutantes who have sadly become the real role models for tween girls.