WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Effective immediately, all workplaces in the United States will be fitted with inflatable slides to enable disgruntled employees to quit as dramatically as possible.
According to a new study commissioned by the U.S. Department of Labor, workers are less likely to suffer from stress and "go off" in the workplace if they know that leaving their job is just one inflatable slide away.
Starting on Monday, inflatable slides will be installed in such diverse workplaces as Home Depot, Starbucks, and the White House, said Labor Secretary Hilda Solis.
"If post offices had inflatable slides, think of the lives we could have saved," she said. More here.
The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.