Ayatollah to Obama: Don't Tell Me What to Do with My Fist

Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei responded to President Obama's suggestion that Iran unclench its fist today, but the response was not what the President had in mind.

"Don't tell me what to do with my fist," the Ayatollah roared, clenching it tighter than before. "I'll clench it when I want to and put it where I want to."

Sources close to the Ayatollah's fist said that it has shown no signs of unclenching in recent days, and if anything it was becoming more and more clenched.

"Anyone who thinks that the Ayatollah's fist is going to be unclenched does not know this particular fist," one source said. "It's a stubborn fist."

Elsewhere, Google reported its trillionth search for naked pictures of Megan Fox.

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